Start Talking!

Whenever I teach an improv for non-actors class, I always begin a new session asking, "What do you hope to accomplish? Why did you take this class?"

This is what I hear, over and over:

I want to have an easier time talking to people  -OR - I want to feel more comfortable around other people . . .

That is a GREAT reason to take practice improv!

Notice, I used the word "practice" because, like anything, you HAVE to DO something over and over and over and over and over (and over!) before you feel comfortable.

In the safe environment of improv class I lead a "CONVERSATION EXERCISE" that we practice weekly. I also send my students out into the world and ask them to strike up a conversation with someone they barely know. I challenge them to find that person they see-often-but-don't-know sitting alone at church; or at the PTA meeting; or in the break room at work and strike up a conversation.

Here are my conversation TIPS:

1. Keep it positive and light.

2. Observe body language, make sure the other person LOOKS open to a conversation (i.e. they're not busy juggling papers or kids or texting someone, etc).

3. Make statements (questions put the responsibility of the conversation onto the OTHER person).

4. LISTEN to what the other person says and comment on THAT.

5. Conclude the conversation at a natural stopping point.

FIND an opportunity to practice! That person in the break room at work who is standing alone, waiting for their microwave meal to "cook"? START TALKING to that person! Make a positive comment, "You're so smart to bring your lunch. I need to remember to do that more often."

If they just grunt at you, move ON.

If they reply, then keep the conversation going with statements ON TOPIC until their meal is cooked and then end the conversation with a, "Have a great day." or "It was great talking with you."

Try it. I hope you are surprised to find that you can learn a lot about people and build empathy and rapport by just opening your mouth when the situation presents itself!!

It might feel uncomfortable at first but -face it- it isn't any MORE uncomfortable than sitting in uneasy silence in a conference room with one other person, waiting for a meeting to start!!