It's About Time

(Click the link to read the full scoop on THE RULES of improv.)

Today, let's improvise on TIME.

One of the hardest thing for ANY new improvisor is letting go of your own ideas and realizing that there an INFINITE number of ways any life-scene could go.

In the improv of life I see and experience a lot of strife due to thoughts/beliefs on time.

In a zillion different ways each day  OFFERS about time are made and whether you know it or not, you improvise with your own "yes, and . . ." (either verbally or in your actions). Here's just one little sample improv on the subject of time.

First Offer from the boss: Being on time for this meeting is crucial.

Player 1 "yes, and": I agree, that's why I always walk through that door exactly at the start of the meeting, to the minute.
Player 2 "yes, and": I agree, that's why I always show up 5 - 15 minutes early so I am ready to go with my iPad out, ready to take notes.
Player 3 "yes, and": I agree, and since I hate being the first person there, I always show up 5 - 15 minutes after the start time, there's always someone later than me -usually, I hate for my time to be wasted waiting for that last person, or having someone repeat what they just said for the latecomers.
Player 4 "yes, and" I have a meeting with the VP of Sales right before that meeting and she's long-winded and always goes over. I think I'd better switch that meeting so I'm not late for my bosses, meeting.

See what I did there? For every player in my game -just like every person in this world- there are different versions of being on time! The improv goes on from there. The boss wasn't specific, was he/she? Lookit how that opened up  a can of wormy-worms all because the boss didn't (or couldn't) express what "on time" MEANT. So many times in life, we start out with vague expectations and then are upset when the "players" in the game don't live up to our unspoken expectations.

Improv of Life

Rules.

Rules are good. There are rules for everything. Seriously

Some rules are there so a game runs smoothly. Some rules are just good citizenship, like not talking on your phone during a movie. Other rules can have deadly consequences if they aren't followed, like breaking the rules of traffic and running red lights or driving against the flow of traffic.

Even in improvisation there are rules to keep things on track. If you don't follow the rules of improv, you end up with a mess. Don't believe me? Just watch the BLAIR WITCH project. Each scene is full of broken improv rules and the whole thing is -to my taste - a mess.

I believe that life is just one big improvisation, and, like anything there are rules. Yeah, I know, I know, what about "No rules, just right" and all that? Well, I doubt the people who came up with that slogan would agree to it if your interpretation of their slogan meant that you wanted the server to go down the street and bring you food from another restaurant. 

There are RULES to improvisation, and I think they serve well in life, too. Here they are:

1. Always "yes, and . . . "
2. Make statements instead of asking questions

I'll explain them more fully below.

ALWAYS "YES, AND . . . "

Others call this "agree and add". Call it what you like, as long as you follow it.

"Yes, and . . . " keeps the action moving.

"Yes, and . . . " accepts what IS and moves forward, understanding that you cannot change what has already been said or done. (See how these rules of improv apply directly to real life?)

To properly "Yes, and . . . "  you accept the OFFER (which in an improv scene would be what your scene partner says to you) AND add to that offer. 

Here's an example of "Yes, and . . ." in action . . . 

Player One: It's a gorgeous day, I love the beach.

Player Two: It is a great day! Too bad that big octopus stole our picnic lunch.

Awesome, a scene has begun, Player Two accepted the offer from Player One that they are at the beach on a gorgeous day and added that their lunch has been purloined. I cannot wait to see where THIS goes!

Here's an example of "yes" without the "and" . . .

Player One: It's a gorgeous day, I love the beach.

Player Two: Yup. Sure is pretty and I love the beach, too.

Very agreeable but this scene is going nowhere. Player Two did a great job of accepting the offer of being at the beach on a gorgeous day but then dropped the beach ball, as it were. How many conversations have you had just like this. Boring and it leaves the person who made the initial offer (or comment) dangling, in charge of coming up with something ELSE to say. Bad form, Player Two, in an improv scene and in life.

Here's an example of BLOCKING the offer.

Player One: It's a gorgeous day, I love the beach.

Player Two: Are you crazy? We're not at the beach. This is prison, man.

Whoa. Where did that come from, Player Two? You didn't agree that you're at the beach on a gorgeous day and instead forced your own idea. Player One will have a lot of work to recover from that one. 

People do this in real life, right? How many times have made a casual comment to someone and had it shot down? That is blocking, right there. It feel awful. Don't do it. 

"Yes, and . . ."

• Defers judgment
• Accepts the situation
• Opens the door to possibility

MAKE STATEMENTS INSTEAD OF ASKING QUESTIONS.

What do you think of . . . ?

Do you want to . . . ?

I'll be there are times when you ask questions, expecting a specific answer and being upset when the answer you wanted didn't appear.

For example:

Player One: What a nice day, hey What is that up in the sky?

Player Two: Oh my gosh, run! It's a giant cat and it looks like he's going to lick us!

(At about this point, I'm always amused because in a scene like this usually the next thing to happen is Player One looks at Player Two like that person is crazy and then BLOCKS the scene.)

Player One: NO it's not, it is a meteor shower.

Wow! It started out so well, then, Player One messed it all up and blocked the action by asking a question that obviously had a VERY specific answer! If you MUST ask a question, you'd better be willing to "yes, and . . ." the answer, or else don't ask!

In the scene above, if Player One wanted it to be a meteor shower, they should've opened the scene by saying, "What a cool meteor shower."

I Didn't Expect to Win This Award

I cannot tell you how MANY times I heard, "I didn't expect to win this award!" while watching the Golden Globe telecast last night. As if saying THAT made it okay for the winner to waste our time by babbling on mindlessly until the "wrap it up" music started playing.

Midway through viewing all those train wrecks last night, I was reminded of my STRONG belief that when faced with even the remote possibility of speaking before a live television audience, it is polite -and prudent- to prepare something genuine, coherent (and succinct) to say.

The same goes for ANYONE. In fact, in this big old improv of life, I believe it is even more important for all of us non-stars to have something coherent and succinct to say about our work/passions when presented with an opportunity to do so.

I feel it is time to re-publish my post from last February, on this very topic. Here it is: Hollywood Stars and Your Elevator Speech.

If At First You Don't Succeed . . .

Confession time: I used to approach a lot of my life in the way I approached taking photos. At one time, there was a REASON for the way I photographed, when that reason disappeared I was still hanging on to my old ways.

But, when I started to improvise and really PLAY with my camera I realized that for me, taking photos is an analogy for dealing with LIFE.

When I was a kid, I loved taking photographs. Back in those good old days, film was expensive and it cost money to get it developed. So, I was fairly careful about my photos. Stingy, in fact. Each photo equated to money spent and I wanted to make sure I got my money's worth. When I got my prints back I'd hold on to all of them. Even the ones that didn't turn out so well. I ended up with bloated, overstuffed albums with a lot of junk photos in them.

Then, the era of digital cameras arrived! An amazing thing, a person could take as many photos as they wanted and just delete the ones that didn't turn out!

While I knew that intellectually, it didn't register emotionally and I was still stingy about taking my shots AND greedy about hanging on to every single one. For me, each photo had to be carefully planned out and only one or two snapped. It wasn't until I read a post on escapeadulthood.com  that challenged my thinking and got me on the path of taking (and dumping!) a LOT of photos.

The post described a challenge to just grab your camera, and start clicking the shutter WITHOUT looking through the viewfinder. Just taking the most random of snapshots, then keeping ONLY the ones that turned out well. This appealed to the improvisor in me. So, I brought my camera along when I went on a trip to Puget Sound. 3 lazy days by water's edge and I tried it. I snapped and snapped and snapped. Hundreds of photos. I crawled on the ground and snapped shots. I held the camera above my head and snapped shots. I held the camera over my shoulder and snapped shots. And, once in a while, I actually looked through the viewfinder and snapped shots.

When I got home I downloaded about 500 photos into my computer! I then deleted the ones that didn't appeal to me. I got a LOT of crappy photos -and I dumped them, free of guilt. I also ended up with a lot of wonderful, unexpected photos that I love. Ever since then, I take LOTS of snaps of the same thing and then delete and edit until I keep THE shot. The one I wanted in the first place.

For Christmas, I was gifted a lovely camera. Instead of my little, compact point and shoot, it is an Olympus with two different lenses. I've been taking it with me on my regular walks around the neighborhood. On Saturday, walking with my daughter, I saw the sun pouring through a gap in the trees. I stood there and took about 20 shots of the same thing.

When I got home, the picture you see on this page was THE one. The one I wanted. The light hit the lens just right and the explosion of purple light that resulted (and the bubbles of light) created an image as magical as the moment felt with the sun coming through the trees.

In fact, I'm learning that the more shots I take, the likelihood increases that I will get a magical shot. There is no rhyme or reason to it, either. Sometimes the first shot turns out to be the one that I like the most. Sometimes the last one, but, usually it is a shot somewhere in the middle. And, sometimes I find that NONE of the shots turned out the way I thought they would, so I dump the whole lot and move on. The next series of pictures will usually hold a gem. Nothing is precious or sacred it is merely an act of doing my best to get something wonderful and moving on if I don't capture it!

Just like life, isn't it!

Everybody's Talking

Because I have a 12-but-almost-13-year-old, I think about gossip. A lot. It starts in Jr. High and never stops, does it?

Gossip isn't even good in an improv scene. Want to know why? It's because the people in the scene aren't doing anything but  standing around and talking about someone who isn't there rather than DOING something.

Stop talking. Start doing. Then there isn't any time for gossip.