The first thing that popped into my head were the words "Acting without listening is just showing off." Then, I thought about how that statement could be applied to just about any situation on- or off- stage!
I think that type of non-listening is even worse in an improvised scene. When someone is watching improv, they are listening to understand.
Now, technically, all improv actors onstage should also be listening to understand, but some actors just miss that mark.
If an actor misses a crucial bit of information given by someone onstage, the audience knows instantly that actor is just waiting for a "turn" to show off.
Improvisers call this non-listening behavior "steamrolling".
In "real life", people who are listening for their "turn" are usually waiting to:
- Show off,
- Establish their status,
- Demonstrate their high level of skill,
- Dictate,
- Lecture
- Push their own agenda; or - worst of all,
- Make a joke
No one wants to work onstage with a steamroller and in the improv of our daily life, no one wants to live with, work with, or play with a steamroller.
Just as an audience can tell if you aren't really paying attention, people in your life can tell if you aren't really paying attention.
Listening for your "turn" to speak isn't really listening at all. And, it is very irritating for all those around you.
Take heart, though, the "active listening" muscle can be developed and the first step in that direction is making a conscious decision to listen for understanding, rather than waiting for your turn to "show off"!
I wish I know who first said "Argue as if you're right. Listen as if you're wrong" because I love that idea. Personally, I think more people need to take that advice to heart and the world might be less divisive.
Does your team need training in active listening? I have a workshop for that! Email micheleruth@hotmail.com for more information.
