Seriously Sarcastic

Comedy is creative. Comedy is difficult to do well.

I don't think I've ever been to a comedy club because I am terrified. I am terrified that I'll be in the audience when one of THOSE comics is onstage.

I'm talking about the kind that use sarcasm and cutting remarks about OTHERS to make funny. It is SUCH an easy way to amuse. It is also a GREAT way to show how clever and smart you are.

Not my style. 

I think cutting remarks and sarcasm creates up a barrier between audience and performer.

I think it even puts up MORE of a barrier between co-workers, friends and loved ones.

If you are frustrated, and feeling like you cannot get close to people, it might be time to take a look at how you INTERACT with them. Are you hiding behind cutting remarks and sarcasm to show others how smart and witty you are?

Here's a great article on SARCASM and the forms it takes, none of them positive!

When you're "doing a scene" in life that doesn't go well at all, take a step back and replay the dialogue in your head. Were your remarks cutting or sarcastic?

Sometimes, in improv class, I ask participants to re-do a scene with the same OPENING line with a completely new response. It is a great way to show participants how improv scenes can go a zillion different ways.

Life scenes are exactly the same.

If you suspect that people are avoiding you, just like I avoid comedy clubs, because of the danger of cutting/sarcastic remarks, the best way to know for sure is to ask some people you know and trust.

If you want an example of sarcasm, Dr. Cox from the TV show, "Scrubs" is a good example. Would you want to work with this guy?

Uncensored

We all have uncensored thoughts. What we choose to do with those thoughts can make a huge difference in our lives.

EVEN when doing an improv scene those uncensored thoughts pop up.

When I worked doing comedy improv at Disney it was especially important to keep it family-friendly. Well, sometimes the first THOUGHT in your mind isn’t family-friendly, especially when doing comedy!

Sooooo, we rehearsed and practiced and that helped us keep the unclean comedy to ourselves!

In the improv of life, it’s different, those uncensored thoughts are often quick, EMOTIONAL gut reactions to something. But, you can STILL rehearse and practice to keep those uncensored thoughts to yourself! I don't know about you, but, when the emotion is negative and I blurt out the first thing on my mind, I typically regret it.

Sometimes, I see the little notice on LinkedIn "Say happy work anniversary" attached to someone's name.

Then, I think to myself, "Wow! You're still THERE? Man, your behavior was AWFUL 3 years ago, I wonder what it's like now."

(I get even WORSE thoughts if I see they've been promoted to a leadership position when my experience of their behavior would put them on the bottom of my should-manage-others list!)

I keep those thoughts to myself by taking my hands OFF of the keyboard and saying to my dogs EXACTLY what I’m thinking. I get it out of my system in an appropriate way! 

It takes thinking creatively and QUICKLY so the uncensored thought can be replaced with a BETTER thought before damaging or inappropriate WORDS come out of your mouth –or onto a computer screen!

Lately, though, it seems like more and more people just BLURT out –or type out- those uncensored thoughts.

I read once that the most successful people in this world are able to CONTAIN those uncensored thoughts and not just share the first thing that comes into their heads.

I agree with that.

I used to work with a man who would immediately say, “NO! That’s impossible!” whenever he was asked to do something last-minute for anyone. It was really destructive and he got a bad reputation and (between you and me) was nearly let go in a round of layoffs.

The funny thing was, he nearly ALWAYS delivered. He just couldn’t stop himself from appearing angry and saying “NO!” when he was frustrated with being asked to do something in a rush.

Get creative, what are your emotional triggers? What can you say or do before you blurt out something that you’ll regret?

In the case of “no-man” I asked him if he could replace “NO” with something else. We brainstormed for a few minutes, we came up with some positive options:

“Let me see what I can do.”

“Give me a minute to think about it.”

“I think that could work.”

He finally settled on “Can I have a minute to think it through?” Then, he’d take a breath and think about it before giving an answer.

Slowly but surely, people's attitude about "no-man" changed to the positive.

Writer Jon Acuff uses “You might be right” whenever someone gives him "feedback" that initially bothers him. I love that because you aren't agreeing with the feedback and you aren't disagreeing with the feedback.

Get creative! How can you stop your uncensored thoughts from damaging your life (and career)??