It's not Going to Kill you

When you were a child, how many times did an adult say, "Just try it, it's not going to kill you"? They were right (otherwise you'd be dead and unable to read this post).

You can think you know if you're going to like -or hate- something. But, honestly, you have to eat that broccoli; you have to strap on those skates and wobble across the ice to really know.

"I just want to watch," is what someone says as they walk in to the theatre for an improv class. My mantra is, "You stay. You play."

Guess what, no one has left (yet) when I've imposed that rule. Quite the opposite; they are pleased with themselves that they did something brave; a great benefit of not chickening out!

I only wish I could've applied the same rule when I was a Corporate Training manager. Unfortunately, those with higher status than I were able to set the rules.

More than one boss and/or VP in my career didn't want to participate in a training session or a class but wanted to (or were told to) be in the room. A non-particpant in the room is a death knell to a class. Especially if "I'm just watching" is the boss.

A low point in my career was having a boss who wouldn't let me take a particular leadership class. I loved the content and was aching to participate but was told something to the effect of: employees won't respect you as the training manager if you have to take a leadership class. That was scared-boss thinking. That wasn't leading-by-example thinking.

Picture your boss - let's call him "I'm-just-watching" - sitting there in the corner of a training room; arms crossed, lips pursed, wearing a smug smile. People believe behavior more than words and "I'm-just-watching's" behavior gives the impression of  more than watching, doesn't it? It gives the impression of being "above" the course/material/participants. It gives the impression of negatively judging the other participants -of negatively judging his employees.

Don't be that person. Don't be that person who thinks they will actually get something out of half learning something -that goes double if you have any direct reports! Instead, be that person who leads by example. Be that person who jumps in, feet first and goes for it.

Here's the dirty little secret. Others can see through "I'm just watching". If you have direct reports, they won't tell you to your face, but they will lose respect for you if you don't participate. The really discriminating employees know that their boss is scared.

Scared of what, though? Scared to be "found out"? Scared to do something "wrong"? The irony is, we already know "I'm just watching" is a yellow-bellied chicken.

So why not just jump in and participate? Unless, of course, you're scared or something . . . .