Profoundly simple in theory but difficult in practice. And, it can be applied to ALL aspects of life.
Just like good improv, getting really good at "when you see it, say it" takes practice and like all improv games, there are a couple of rules:
1. If you see something good, praise it publicly and specifically; and,
2. If you see something that needs correction, do that privately and specifically.
Both these rules should be applied as soon as possible after the behavior that deserves praise or requires correction.
IF YOU SEE SOMETHING GOOD, PRAISE IT PUBLICLY AND SPECIFICALLY
Saying "thank you" and/or "great job" is nice but not good enough.
Those two phrases need to be followed up with specifics. I personally don't know anyone who doesn't feel noticed and appreciated when they are thanked or praised specifically for something they did.
Specific praise is sure to encourage repeat behavior and, if you're really feeling frisky, you can do something nice in return!
For example, our daughter cleaned her room without being asked. I made sure her brother was also around when I said, "Thank you for cleaning your room without being asked, that made me so happy that you knew that company was coming over and saved me the stress of repeatedly asking you to clean up. I wanted to do something nice for you so, I washed and put away your clothes."
Since that time, she's cleaned her room two other times, without being asked -both times when she knew I would've asked because people were coming over!
Here are some examples of different types of specific praise.
Practice praise with your employees: "When you did XYZ it really made the customer's experience better I could see by their smile that they were grateful and the icing on the cake is when they said, 'You have a customer for life,' thank you for making us all look good!
Practice praise with your co-workers: "I just want to take a minute out of this meeting to thank Chris for pitching in and helping me get that collating project done yesterday. It looked so much better than it would have if I'd done it alone and the customer couldn't stop saying nice things about how it turned out."
Practice praise with your spouse or significant other: "Honey, thank you for making that sweet comment about my lasagna, when your Mom was over. It made me feel good to know that all that effort to learn a new recipe was appreciated."
Practice praise with your children: "Thank you for noticing the garbage was full and taking it out without being asked, it was really great today when I was helping your brother with his art project and I didn't have to stop everything take out an overflowing garbage bag."
Practice praise with volunteers: "Thank you so much for showing up on time for your volunteer shift, it makes it so much easier for everyone to know we're fully staffed."
IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT NEEDS CORRECTION, DO THAT PRIVATELY
Think back to a time when you were corrected in public. It didn't feel so much like a correction as a humiliation, didn't it? When people are humiliated they feel angry. Angry people might lash out, make excuses, stop trying or quit.
Poor managers -the ones that act like bullies- praise privately (or not at all) and correct publicly.
No one feels respected when that happens. Leaders don't humiliate others.
Just like praise, correction needs to be specific. It also needs to be followed up with an expectation for future behavior. Private and specific correction is also something that needs to be practiced and takes a lot more finesse.
Also, when correcting others you cannot dwell on the past. Refrain from asking "Why did you?" or "What were you thinking?" because those phrases just keeps things stuck. Look to the future.
Practice correction with your employees: "When you said XYZ to the customer, I noticed that he got very agitated and it looks like he left angry. I'd like you to say something different the next time a situation like this comes up. Saying ABC or DEF has worked for me in the past."
Practice correction with your co-workers: "This is hard for me to say but, I need your help. When I was on that client call a little while ago, you were talking to Sam really loudly and it was hard for me to hear what the client was saying. Could you help me out and talk more quietly the next time you see I'm on the phone? I promise I'll do the same for you."
Practice correction with your spouse or significant other: "Honey, when you dump the clothes right outside the hamper it hurts my back to bend over and pick it all up. Could you please either put your dirty clothes into the hamper or pile it on top of the dryer so I don't have to bend down so much?"
Practice correction with your kids: "When adults are talking to you, it feels very disrespectful when you're looking at your phone. I noticed you were staring at your phone when Grandma was talking and you didn't even noticed that she stopped mid-sentence. From now on, when any grownup is talking to you, I expect you to turn your phone face-down and look them in the eye and respond politely."
Practicing correction with volunteers takes special finesse. It must be done ESPECIALLY kindly and gently! And works best if you set up ALL expectations before the volunteer even starts helping out. "Hey, I'm not sure I ever told you this but, part of this task is straightening up the desk area after your shift. It's one of those nice things that makes it easier for the next person. I know I'm always grateful when I come in and don't have to clean up the desk before I get started."
Three final notes on correction:
Keep your mouth firmly closed if the thing you are "correcting" is:1. A personal preference. Everyone has a different version of "on time". If you called a meeting for noon but you personally consider people late if they're not there at 11:55 that's your own "stuff" and not anything that needs correcting if your employee is sitting in that meeting room by noon.
2. An unexplained expectation. Don't assume anything. If you ask your kid to clean the bathroom and he's never done it before, but gives it a try anyway, you should thank him, not correct him! And next time you ask him to do a brand-new task, correct your own behavior by TEACHING him how to do it, first!
3. Not behavior you're willing to model yourself. Most people can't respect someone who doesn't do what they expect others to do.
Do you know a Leader who chooses the "when you see it, say it" model?
Do you know a person who does the opposite?
Please share any great examples of either style!
No comments:
Post a Comment