A Note About Persistence

2014. I started out this year journaling what I would do more of this year:

1. Travel
2. Audition
3. Perform
4. Write

The ones that are currently challenging me are #2 and #3.

I've auditioned MORE this year than in several years past but I'm just NOT getting cast.

Here are the shows I'm NOT doing this year:

Urintown: The Musical
Mary Poppins
Man of La Mancha
Shrek, The Musical
Fiddler on the Roof

5 shows that I'm not doing.

But, this is 4 more shows than I auditioned for LAST year when I decided that in addition to doing my own improvised show, I'd like to do a scripted show again.

So far, no success. So, what are my "next steps"?

Auditioning.

I'm persisting.

On a couple of shows I've come very close. On a couple of shows, I could've accepted an ensemble role but, with my busy life, I honestly will only accept speaking roles at this point.

At no point am I considering "giving up". Yes, it hurts when I'm not cast. There are people out there more talented than I am. There are people out there less talented than I am.

Sometimes I even see those people in the roles that I auditioned for.

It doesn't matter.

In the improv of life, what matters to me, is that I will continue to audition.

I won't stop and I won't let it get me down (for long!).

And, in between auditions, I will continue to work on my own show which gives me great joy.

And, in between auditions, I will work on creating new shows for myself which terrifies me in a good way.

And, in between auditions, I will travel and write because those things are on my list for 2014!

What is challenging YOU right now in your life?

What do you do when you have challenges reaching your goals?

5 Real Ways to Stop Complaining and Start Living

What are you focusing on today?

The positive?

Or the negative?

If I'm not careful, I can fall into the trap of only focusing on the negative. In the improv of life, this is not productive. Complaining and negativity quickly pull us out of an open "yes, and . . ." mindset and send us into a limited "no, but . . ." place that isn't very fun -or funny.

Negativity is an easy path. People are MORE than willing to walk along and help you get deeper and deeper into the slough of unhappiness.

Think about it: how many times have you complained about something and NOT had someone commiserate with you?

I can think of only one time.

I began complaining and a true friend said, gently and kindly, "Today, why don't you focus on what you DO have instead of what you don't."

WHAM! That friend pulled me off the path and left me, wobbly, and re-thinking things.

Indeed.

Life WAS pretty good when I stopped thinking about the one thing upsetting me.

We cannot change our feelings but we can experience an emotion -have a good (private) cry or pillow-punching session and then choose NOT to STAY in that emotion.

Truly, it has been my experience that the way I feel today is NOT the way I'll feel tomorrow and when I wallow in the emotions of self-pity and negativity I'm usually ashamed of myself after I snap out of it.

Here are some ways to move on after experiencing a negative emotion:

1. DON'T SHARE WITH OTHERS
This one is easy, I realized that EVERY time I was feeling negative and I shared my feelings with others (in the form of GRIPING) that I got MORE worked up, and I felt even MORE negative about the situation. Sure, I was doing some great "yes, and . . ." improv but it wasn't positive at all and got me even MORE upset! Journals are a great and safe place to work through your negative emotions.

2. HELP SOMEONE
Volunteer somewhere. I spent a few years volunteering at a Christmas gift giveaway for needy families in our community. I never felt so grateful for what I have as when I was doing that.

3. GIVE AWAY SOMETHING YOU NEED
If are feeling anonymous or unappreciated, you can bet others are feeling the same way. Why not reach out to someone and give them a GENUINE compliment? Start looking for ways to lift others up, the residual benefit is great.

4. MAKE A PLAN
If you are feeling negative about a situation in your life, making a genuine plan with serious goals is a lifesaver. When things get rough, you can focus on your plan, rather than your current situation.

5. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
Corny? Maybe, but it works. I love this quote from my pastor, Kevin Gerald "Blessed with everything, entitled to nothing." Wow. So true.

I don't know where I first heard this but I love it: "What if the things you didn't give thanks for today were gone tomorrow?" It's a sobering thought.

I do Morning Pages and when I feel myself slipping into negativity, I do my best to next write out the things for which I'm grateful.

DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS TO STOP COMPLAINING AND START LIVING? FEEL FREE TO SHARE!

I Trusted You

Just around bedtime, our son confessed that he had gotten called into the office at school!

What? Our empathetic, sweet boy?

Turns out our angel was playing a version of "so-and-so has cooties" game.

Hmmm.

That led to a discussion about treating people kindly. He told us that this person was a friend and that he'd apologized and that they were "good" now.

Really?

The hubby and I pointed out that he'd better re-examine how he behaved with friends and explained that he'd destroyed the trust in their relationship.

Ultimately, we told him he was going to have to work very hard to build back the original TRUST of this person. 

And, like any typical nearly-ten-year-old boy would, he rolled his eyes, shrugged his shoulders and left the room once we'd shared our wisdom!

In the improv of life, trust is crucial.

I remind my improv students all the time, that an "offer" made to purposely make a scene partner uncomfortable isn't the way to play the game.

It's not fun.

In real life it isn't fun, either.

What's the old saying?

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

Good improv -like good friendships- builds on the strengths of a scene partner, not their discomfort.

Today, I challenge you to only do "scenes" where you build up and strengthen those you interact with.

Remember, it's easy to tear things apart. It is far more creative to build UP.

Alan Alda on Bringing Improv to Science

Brilliant! THIS is what I'm talking about. Improv can help ALL aspects of life and it isn't about being funny, it is about being genuine.

Great video:




This article is also shared on my Pinterest Board IMPROVISATION.

If At First You Don't Succeed . . .

Confession time: I used to approach a lot of my life in the way I approached taking photos. At one time, there was a REASON for the way I photographed, when that reason disappeared I was still hanging on to my old ways.

But, when I started to improvise and really PLAY with my camera I realized that for me, taking photos is an analogy for dealing with LIFE.

When I was a kid, I loved taking photographs. Back in those good old days, film was expensive and it cost money to get it developed. So, I was fairly careful about my photos. Stingy, in fact. Each photo equated to money spent and I wanted to make sure I got my money's worth. When I got my prints back I'd hold on to all of them. Even the ones that didn't turn out so well. I ended up with bloated, overstuffed albums with a lot of junk photos in them.

Then, the era of digital cameras arrived! An amazing thing, a person could take as many photos as they wanted and just delete the ones that didn't turn out!

While I knew that intellectually, it didn't register emotionally and I was still stingy about taking my shots AND greedy about hanging on to every single one. For me, each photo had to be carefully planned out and only one or two snapped. It wasn't until I read a post on escapeadulthood.com  that challenged my thinking and got me on the path of taking (and dumping!) a LOT of photos.

The post described a challenge to just grab your camera, and start clicking the shutter WITHOUT looking through the viewfinder. Just taking the most random of snapshots, then keeping ONLY the ones that turned out well. This appealed to the improvisor in me. So, I brought my camera along when I went on a trip to Puget Sound. 3 lazy days by water's edge and I tried it. I snapped and snapped and snapped. Hundreds of photos. I crawled on the ground and snapped shots. I held the camera above my head and snapped shots. I held the camera over my shoulder and snapped shots. And, once in a while, I actually looked through the viewfinder and snapped shots.

When I got home I downloaded about 500 photos into my computer! I then deleted the ones that didn't appeal to me. I got a LOT of crappy photos -and I dumped them, free of guilt. I also ended up with a lot of wonderful, unexpected photos that I love. Ever since then, I take LOTS of snaps of the same thing and then delete and edit until I keep THE shot. The one I wanted in the first place.

For Christmas, I was gifted a lovely camera. Instead of my little, compact point and shoot, it is an Olympus with two different lenses. I've been taking it with me on my regular walks around the neighborhood. On Saturday, walking with my daughter, I saw the sun pouring through a gap in the trees. I stood there and took about 20 shots of the same thing.

When I got home, the picture you see on this page was THE one. The one I wanted. The light hit the lens just right and the explosion of purple light that resulted (and the bubbles of light) created an image as magical as the moment felt with the sun coming through the trees.

In fact, I'm learning that the more shots I take, the likelihood increases that I will get a magical shot. There is no rhyme or reason to it, either. Sometimes the first shot turns out to be the one that I like the most. Sometimes the last one, but, usually it is a shot somewhere in the middle. And, sometimes I find that NONE of the shots turned out the way I thought they would, so I dump the whole lot and move on. The next series of pictures will usually hold a gem. Nothing is precious or sacred it is merely an act of doing my best to get something wonderful and moving on if I don't capture it!

Just like life, isn't it!

Uncensored

We all have uncensored thoughts. What we choose to do with those thoughts can make a huge difference in our lives.

EVEN when doing an improv scene those uncensored thoughts pop up.

When I worked doing comedy improv at Disney it was especially important to keep it family-friendly. Well, sometimes the first THOUGHT in your mind isn’t family-friendly, especially when doing comedy!

Sooooo, we rehearsed and practiced and that helped us keep the unclean comedy to ourselves!

In the improv of life, it’s different, those uncensored thoughts are often quick, EMOTIONAL gut reactions to something. But, you can STILL rehearse and practice to keep those uncensored thoughts to yourself! I don't know about you, but, when the emotion is negative and I blurt out the first thing on my mind, I typically regret it.

Sometimes, I see the little notice on LinkedIn "Say happy work anniversary" attached to someone's name.

Then, I think to myself, "Wow! You're still THERE? Man, your behavior was AWFUL 3 years ago, I wonder what it's like now."

(I get even WORSE thoughts if I see they've been promoted to a leadership position when my experience of their behavior would put them on the bottom of my should-manage-others list!)

I keep those thoughts to myself by taking my hands OFF of the keyboard and saying to my dogs EXACTLY what I’m thinking. I get it out of my system in an appropriate way! 

It takes thinking creatively and QUICKLY so the uncensored thought can be replaced with a BETTER thought before damaging or inappropriate WORDS come out of your mouth –or onto a computer screen!

Lately, though, it seems like more and more people just BLURT out –or type out- those uncensored thoughts.

I read once that the most successful people in this world are able to CONTAIN those uncensored thoughts and not just share the first thing that comes into their heads.

I agree with that.

I used to work with a man who would immediately say, “NO! That’s impossible!” whenever he was asked to do something last-minute for anyone. It was really destructive and he got a bad reputation and (between you and me) was nearly let go in a round of layoffs.

The funny thing was, he nearly ALWAYS delivered. He just couldn’t stop himself from appearing angry and saying “NO!” when he was frustrated with being asked to do something in a rush.

Get creative, what are your emotional triggers? What can you say or do before you blurt out something that you’ll regret?

In the case of “no-man” I asked him if he could replace “NO” with something else. We brainstormed for a few minutes, we came up with some positive options:

“Let me see what I can do.”

“Give me a minute to think about it.”

“I think that could work.”

He finally settled on “Can I have a minute to think it through?” Then, he’d take a breath and think about it before giving an answer.

Slowly but surely, people's attitude about "no-man" changed to the positive.

Writer Jon Acuff uses “You might be right” whenever someone gives him "feedback" that initially bothers him. I love that because you aren't agreeing with the feedback and you aren't disagreeing with the feedback.

Get creative! How can you stop your uncensored thoughts from damaging your life (and career)??

The Terror of the Blank Page

Blank page. Staring at me

For most of us, it's easier to start with ANYTHING rather than with a blank page.

We think we need at least something, even one little thing, to grab ahold of, like a life raft.

But, the thing is, while the blank page is in FRONT of me, there's inspiration all around me.

I see the sunlight slanting through the window. There are dust specks floating through the air and I think, for just a moment, that maybe I should vacuum instead of write.

I smell the clean scent of the scarf I'm wearing, I wound it around my neck, fresh from the dryer.

I hear the dogs chewing on their carrots, the older one patiently letting the puppy steal one from him.

I feel the soft leather cushion of the couch and think about all the things we've done on and around this couch; sleeping, watching movies, making forts, holding babies -the list is endless.

I taste the carrot that I've saved for myself, the dogs looking at me accusingly because I've dared take one of their treats.

Each of those things swirled around my consciousness as I typed my first words on a blank page.  Any of those things could be the start of a story, the start of an improv, the start of a blog post, the start of a painting, the start of a musical composition. The fact is, there is always something around us to inspire..

When I'm coaching, I will sometimes ask my students to start from an entirely blank place.

"Do a scene," I'll say. That's a blank page. Full of possibility. Where to go?

I see the relief in their eyes; feel the relief of tension in their bodies when I give my improv students a place to start from. They really don't need it, but, they THINK they do.

Just look around, there's SO much inspiration everywhere, even in the mundane.

Show me the MONEY

Does money have a place in creativity?

Do you need money to be creative?

Do you need money to START a creative venture?

Is there some creative venture you'd LOVE to plunge into BUT you need more money? I think you CAN do it. I just think it means being CREATIVE about getting to that place where you can earn your living doing something creative.

My husband owns his own business. He makes leather bags. He designs, patterns, and builds leather bags. He started his business -his creative business- without carrying ANY debt because he started it while he was working at another job.

His other job provided a good income, so, he purchased some leather and the basic equipment he'd need to start this business. Then, after work (and sometimes before) he started making bags and belts and wallets.

On his days off, he went out and sold his bags and belts and wallets. He got better and better at it. Any money he earned, he put BACK into the business. Upgrading his tools and equipment as he went along.

Yes, he gave up some things to see his creative enterprise take off. Fewer nights out with friends. Fewer dinners out. Late nights and long weekends spent working. But, it was all worth it.

Eventually, he began doing leather working full-time and THAT became his job. His only source of income. He's been running his own business since 1996. It grows every year.

I share this story because sometimes I think we creative types get decidedly UN-creative about earning money doing the creative things we love.

Yes, it takes hustle. It takes work. It ALSO takes CREATIVITY. You, my friends, have oodles of that. So, start getting creative what can you do NOW, today, to get your creative venture off the ground, without going into debt and then start earning you money?

Of COURSE You Can Quit

Some days, it might feel like you cannot change things where you are.

Sometimes, it takes getting creative.

Sometimes, you have to take your creative self somewhere ELSE! Sometimes it takes QUITTING to change the world.

Here's a little story.

I worked in an accounting office. Weird for me, because it was an uncreative JOB but, I really liked the company I worked for and my coworkers were great. It wasn't a bad way to make a living. But, the rigid 8am - 5pm with an enforced hour-for-lunch schedule was a killer.

I politely asked to adjust my schedule. Noting that it could be good for the company as we dealt with East Coast companies and by the time we started our day it was already 11 am there. If I could start earlier, we would have an earlier half hour in the office with the East Coast. My requests to shift my schedule by 1/2 hour were denied.

The personal reason I wanted to flex my schedule was that with the bus schedules I was spending up to 2 hours EACH day in traffic, waiting to clock in, or waiting for a bus. By just shifting to a 7:30-4:30 schedule not only would we have MORE coverage in the office to answer phones BUT, I'd personally get back time with my family each week.

I did my best to creatively fill -not kill- my time, I walked, I read, I listened to music -but what I really wanted was more TIME with my family.

So, after my requests were denied a couple of times, I gave up on THAT place and started looking for another job, closer to home; and I found it! The new job that was 20 - 30 minutes from my house (and paid better). In the time it usually took me to drive to the park and ride station, I was getting to work! It was unbelievable, I gained another 1 - 2 hours with my family EACH day! That was up to 10 hours each WEEK! 

My boss at the previous company offered me MORE money to stay. Again, I asked her if I could flex my schedule. She said, "no". So, I politely declined and went to work at the new place. Better pay. MUCH shorter commute. 

Guess what? After I left, one of the bigwigs at the company I'd left started asking around as to why I'd quit. When someone (honestly) told him it was because I wanted to flex my schedule by 1/2 hour each day, he started questioning people in my former office. Turns out, they ALL wanted to flex their schedules. Turns out the flex schedules meant there would be people covering the office MORE hours each day. My former boss was instructed to review each employee's schedule requests on a case-by-case basis and approve the requests that were reasonable. Turns out the people in the department were happier with their new schedules. Turns out morale went up and employee turnover went DOWN. 

Turns out I changed that small corner of the world, after all with my creative idea.

Just because people don't (initially) like your creative idea doesn't mean they are wrong. Or bad people. It doesn't even mean your idea is bad. It just might mean that your idea and the people you work with/for aren't ready for those creative ideas of yours!

It's okay to take your creative self and move on, look for a better fit for YOU.

My Love Affair

Confession time; my name is Michele and I have a crush on a non-fiction, "Business"-type author. (Please don't tell John Irving).

The man I'm in love with is author Marshall Goldsmith who wrote the leadership book  "What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful".

Okay, you "I-won't-be-caught-dead-reading-a-business-book"-types, please go with me here, for a couple of minutes . . .

Just 40 pages into this tome, Marshall unleashes the big guns, his list of the 20 Bad Habits: Challenges to Interpersonal Behavior.

Wow! My crush began right there. This stuff is GOOD and it goes BEYOND the workplace.

So, indulge me. Take a minute now and LOOK at that list. I'll be right here when you're finished. Then, we'll talk.

Okay, finished? Was your first reaction the same as mine? When I first read that list, I cringed because I've been guilty of ALL of those behaviors at one point or another. Ugh. That hurt!

Next, it HIT me that it's a shame that this is a "Business" book because, I really wished some of my creative associates and non-Corporate associates would read this book and we could all take a look at how we interact with one another.

Further DEEPENING my crush on Marsh (my pet name for him) was his advice on how to avoid MOST of this behavior. His advice didn't involve anything tricky at all. In fact, in most cases, the way to remedy this behavior is to STOP TALKING. Simple and brilliant, that MG! We can all stop talking, right?

The last thing that sealed the deal on this love affair was his advice on how to inspire others, especially if you're leading a team. The simple concept of FEED FORWARD. Feed forward accepts that fact that NO ONE has perfected time travel; and therefore no one is able to go back in time and do something differently. So, going backward in time and giving feedBACK is counter-productive. Instead, what we CAN do is behave differently in the FUTURE. A leader can ask for something to be done differently NEXT time -without dwelling on LAST time!

You might have noticed that, from time to time, I use one of Marshall Goldsmith's Bad Habits as a jumping off point for my own conversations on behavior in the creative arena, especially when I behave in a non-productive way (I'm not afraid to look a fool if it helps someone else) -or when I experience the destructive behavior as I interact with others as we ALL act out the scenes in this thing we all call "life". (In fact, my Oct 22 post referenced #2 - Adding too much value.)

I hope you read Marshall's book. At the very least, I hope you keep in mind the Bad Habits and turn them around to find greater success in your OWN life!

Which of the Bad Habits do you need to stop to create better relationships?
Which of the Bad Habits do you encounter MOST in your own life?

My 2 Cents

When involved in a creative endeavor with a group of people, there's often that PERSON who feels compelled to add their 2 cents. And that's it. They don't do anything else but feel their entire value to the group is to add their 2 cents. And usually their 2 cents is destructive.

They aren't the person brainstorming ideas; they are the person sitting silently who AFTER a decision has been made and executed offers their "constructive" criticism which upsets and hurts those who were involved.

They aren't the energetic, full of life, person taking a risk on something new or different; they are the person hiding in the background, turning down each opportunity to be involved and then shredding to bits the risky, creative thing, often causing those creative risk-takers to take themselves right off to a new project or organization -leaving the original group with only this "helpful" do-nothing.

THOSE PEOPLE ARE TOXIC TO ANY TEAM.

Once, working as a volunteer with a non-profit, a group of us were working to create a new logo. It was regularly mentioned at meetings that this was happening; ideas were solicited but not much discussion occurred around this item. So, a small team went to work on this. The logo went through many revisions with the team and artists working together until it was finished. At that point, the logo was shared with the rest of the group. One group member who'd stayed silent until that point was quite critical (to the point of potentially insulting the designer, who'd volunteered their time).

THIS WAS TOXIC TO THE PROJECT.

I cannot stress it enough. Are YOU this person? Being honest, I know I have been this person from time to time. And I'm not proud of it. Face it, we ALL have been this person at one point or another.

Here's how you can STOP this behavior:

Think before you speak. Simple as that.

Ask yourself, "Have I taken every opportunity to be involved in the project/idea/initiative to which I am giving my opinion?"

Then, ask yourself, "Am I willing to be involved in this project/idea/initiative to which I am giving my opinion?"

If the answer is "No" to both questions, then DON'T SAY A WORD unless you are going to say something ENTIRELY positive.

Here's how you can HANDLE this behavior:

Take a deep breath. Then, politely but firmly tell the "critic" that the time for creative input has passed and that you are not asking for advice, merely sharing the outcome. In addition, you can ask them to get involved more deeply NEXT time.

Remember, unless you're willing to get your creative hands dirty; put your time and effort into an endeavor -your "opinion" is probably hurtful and unwelcome. So just be quiet. That's my 2 cents.

The Sandwich Artist

Sometimes, there's a creative synchronicity to life! Just after I made my "Use Your Words" post, I read this article on LinkedIn regarding the disconnect between the WORDS the company uses and the action of the employees. I hope you read the article, because it is quite good.

It reminds me that in building a culture ANYWHERE words must match actions. Therefore, words must be chosen carefully. If your company's mantra is "It's all about the customer" then EVERYTHING you do must be for the customer. All your creative energy should be focused on the customer. Customers NOTICE if you say, "We do this all for you" but then they get horrible customer service! If it really isn't all about the customer then choose a new slogan!

One thing I'm particularly sensitive about is the way companies tout creativity, imagination or innovation in their corporate slogans or verbiage when the reality is far from that! True creativity in the workplace is messy and asks questions and does things entirely differently and makes mistakes. If management doesn't support that in word and action then your workplace isn't really creative.

Case in point: Subway's term for their employees: SANDWICH ARTIST. Now, c'mon, really? The "Sandwich Artists" at Subway have a set and prescribed way to make a sandwich. They have NO creative control over the process. Or, if they exercise any creative control, I'm certain they are reprimanded for it.

On the other hand, Disney, calls all their park employees CAST MEMBERS. As an actor, at first that ruffled my fur, but, when I saw what Disney is about -creating a full environment, a story- it made perfect sense, the "Cast Members" are there to enact the story for you and they do that.

Does your company seem to encourage creativity through its use of words, but in action the C-level staff seems to discourage it?

What if?

What if?
What if today you laughed at your pet peeves?
What if today you made a list of all the things for which you are grateful?
What if today you imagined yourself in the shoes of the person you most dislike?
What if today you did something creative you don't usually do like draw a picture, take artsy photos, write, paint, sculpt, act, tell a joke?
What if today you gave a dollar to charity every time you complained about something?
What if today you did that one thing that gave you the most joy as a child?
What if you spoke up when someone was mean to someone else?
What if you held your tongue when someone made you angry?
What if today you chose to think differently about just ONE thing in your life?
What if?
Would your life be better?
Would your life be worse?
Would your life change at all?

Flip It, Flip It Good

What if today every time you thought you were right about something, you flipped it and took the opposite opinion or belief? What if today you flipped your need to be right and let everyone else be right?

Could you do it? I'm not sure I could! But, it would make for an interesting improvisational exercise, I think!

Albert Camus said, "The need to be right is the sign of a vulgar mind." 

But, I think it is a very real human emotion to want to BE right about everything in our lives. Maybe that is because, secretly we always feel the opposite. Or, maybe we need to feel right about everything because it keeps us in control of our lives.

What is being RIGHT all about anyway? Is it to have the BEST beliefs, ideas, judgments, opinions, way of doing something? Or is it deeper? 

Like anything else, I think the need to be right should be delivered in moderation, for if we are always right about everything then how do we learn?

We all have our habits and our opinions. When I look back in dismay over a disagreement I've had with someone else; if I can boil it down to my own personal need to be "right" in that moment, I typically wind up feeling ashamed. 

I watch with great interest when a friend will make a complaint or pronouncement of opinion on Facebook or Twitter. They will get lots of agreement (you're RIGHT) and then that one person will pop up with an opposing opinion. 

What? Suddenly the world doesn't agree? Interesting. Very interesting. 

My Mom always used to say, "If everyone in the world thought the same way, it'd be a boring place." I agree with that.

I started thinking more about this; I've had friends who participated in debate class who've been assigned to argue a point with which they do not agree. However, within the rules of debate, they are trying to win the debate so they dutifully argue their opposing opinion -they argue AGAINST their own "right".

I think it would be an interesting improvisation to share an opinion about something and then play a scene as if you believed the OPPOSITE. Just to shake it up. Just to look at the other side of the coin. Just to let go of a "right" for a minute or two.

What "right" could you let go of just for today to improve a relationship?

What "right" could you let go of just for today to look with fresh eyes at a situation?

Use Your Words

Anyone who deals with kids, knows that as they are growing and learning to speak, from time to time they need to be reminded to use their words. But, as they grow and develop, I ask my kids to CHOOSE their words. Words have such power.

Words can uplift and encourage our creative spirits or words can tear apart our creative spirits.

When my improv students ask questions (which slows a scene down) I sometimes ask them to make a different choice. Or sometimes, we play an improv game where an offer is made and EVERYONE in the room must choose a different response. It is a great reminder that there are a zillion different ways a scene -onstage or in life- can go.

We all have the power within us to  CHOOSE our words. Buddha said, "Words have the power to destroy or heal. When they are both true and kind, they can change the world."

And, Proverbs 15:1 tells us, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

Think about it; we've all witnessed people disagreeing and I'll bet you could pinpoint exactly what words triggered the fight. Am I right?

Here are some other choices to think about:

If you are often hurt by people tearing down a creative idea or project, stop asking, "What do you think?" Instead, why not say, "I'm proud of this. I hope you are, too." Or, stop asking unsupportive people to support your creativity. Choose someone new to share with in addition to choosing new words!

If you are overwhelmed by too many commitments, stop saying "I have to. . ." Replace that sentence with "I GET to . . ." After that small switch, if you realize you don't like the places you GET to go, then take steps to stop going there!

If you feel like you are missing out on the little moments of life, stop saying, "I cannot wait . . . " and start saying, "I'm so EXCITED . . . ". Excitement allows you to fill that time fully participating in what is currently happening while waiting is passive and focuses all your attention on the thing you're GOING to do instead of the things you ARE doing.

When in a disagreement stop saying "You always . .  ." Because those words aren't (usually) true. Why not choose to point out the SPECIFIC behavior that is causing the grief? This one is tricky. Here's an example, "When you roll your eyes and say, 'brilliant' when I'm speaking in a meeting, it gives me the impression you feel like you are smarter than me and that gives me the impression you don't want to work on this team with me. Is that the impression you want to give? Is that true?"

What other words or phrases could you switch for more positive results?
What words or phrases have hurt you in the past?
What words or phrases have built you up in the past?

Creativity -VS- Cynicism

The opposite of creativity is cynicism. ~Esa Saarinen, Finnish philosopher

I have to agree with this statement. I believe creativity is a good thing, obviously! I focus my life on the creative. I encourage all of my readers and students to explore the creative every day -in every way. I would never encourage someone to be a cynic.

Cynics believe that only selfishness motivates human action.

Creatives strive to transcend the norm and make something new.

Here's to all the CREATIVES then! May you endure and thrive and continue transcending the regular!

Cynics, you're welcome to JOIN us on the creative side!!

Take Your Time

Quick! Raise your hand if you rush. (Can you see me with my hand raised, too?) We all do it. I find myself racing out the door all the time, late again! Late again!

But, then I read a news story about an impatient driver plowing into a crowd of people and I am humbled. That could've been me, rushing somewhere -thinking it was important- and realizing that nothing I've been rushing to is as important as another person's health and well-being. In the improv of life, the best "scenes" are the ones that are allowed to develop at a healthy pace.

Or,

I regret sending that email I rushed to write. My words could've been more carefully chosen. I realize I've hurt some feelings.

Or,

I rush to judgment. I don't see the full situation. I make assumptions. I get angry or agitated. I feel guilty and ashamed once I TAKE THE TIME to understand the full situation.

That isn't healthy for me or my creativity.

To generate creative ideas, to execute creative plans, to solve problems creatively, I need to slow down.

When I'm running an improv game,  I notice that participants often feel a need to RUSH their creative moments. I can see them mentally beating themselves up when they don't come up with something QUICKLY. Then, the other participants rush, too; anxious, they jump in with helpful suggestions.

Take your time, I say.

But still, I can see they FEEL rushed. They FEEL the anxiety of their fellow players.

Take your time.

Is what you're rushing to do REALLY urgent?
Or are you MAKING it urgent because you're in the HABIT of rushing?

Never Give Up?

The thing I've been pondering today is when/why people make the decision to give up a creative pursuit.

I observe people around me. Some seem to just forge ahead, happily and when the going gets tough, they get going. Some people are full of ideas that never come to fruition, or, they create something and keep it in their basement and no one sees it. Or, they try for something once and never again.

When do you give up??
Why do you give up??

Are You a Seagull?

Please read this article by SETH GODIN. "When to Speak Up" it is so good.

You've probably heard this type of critic described as a "SEAGULL" because they swoop and poop. I saw it ALL the time when I worked in the corporate jungle and I see it even MORE in the volunteer circles in which I travel. Especially when working on creative new ideas.

I'm generally a positive person; but, if you want to bring out the Mama Bear in me, sit silently through all the planning meetings and THEN crap all over the hard work of the engaged, active, involved people in the group just before -or right after- the project execution. As Godin notes, "Rooting for your team to fail is as bad as it sounds." Ouch.

My own theory? People do this because it makes them FEEL like they've done something.

How about try this instead: Participate from the beginning. And, as Godin suggests, "Come to the next meeting with a better plan about the next decision." 

'Nuff said.

That Degree CAN get you THERE!

Sometimes I read an article and have to sit and stew on it for a few days as I ponder what I really think about it. I came across the article 9 Ways a Theatre Degree Trumps a Business Degree last week. The author is a theatre major but currently working as a PR and Communications professional. He was inspired to write the article to encourage a friend who felt like her theatre degree didn't mean anything in the business world.

According to the author, here are the key advantages that an employee with a theatre degree brings to the table:

1. Advanced critical thinking and problem solving skills
2. Calm in a crisis
3. Understand deadlines and respect them
4. An eye on audience perception
5. Courageous
6. Resourceful
7. Team Player
8. Versatile
9. Flexible

I mostly agree with him on all these points. And, in fact, when I was working at a large corporation and things ALWAYS seemed to be delayed, I made the comment that delaying an "opening" just DOESN'T happen in theatre. The show goes ON!

What I do enjoy MOST about this article is the creativity he employees to help his friend see all her positive qualities; and move forward in confidence in a career that isn't directly related to her degree. The amazing thing is, YOU could create a list like this for nearly ANY degree you have and how YOUR degree helps you in your current profession. (Note: Of COURSE, there are SOME careers that require a specialized degree. If that is what you want to do, then this post MIGHT not be for you!!)

So, get creative friends. IF your degree doesn't match a job you a) currently hold; or b) wish you had; then get out a piece of paper and write down all the positive and TRANSFERABLE skills you learned from your degree. And, if you are a college dropout (like me) you can STILL create a list, just use PAST JOBS to identify positive/transferable skills!