Use Your Words

Anyone who deals with kids, knows that as they are growing and learning to speak, from time to time they need to be reminded to use their words. But, as they grow and develop, I ask my kids to CHOOSE their words. Words have such power.

Words can uplift and encourage our creative spirits or words can tear apart our creative spirits.

When my improv students ask questions (which slows a scene down) I sometimes ask them to make a different choice. Or sometimes, we play an improv game where an offer is made and EVERYONE in the room must choose a different response. It is a great reminder that there are a zillion different ways a scene -onstage or in life- can go.

We all have the power within us to  CHOOSE our words. Buddha said, "Words have the power to destroy or heal. When they are both true and kind, they can change the world."

And, Proverbs 15:1 tells us, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

Think about it; we've all witnessed people disagreeing and I'll bet you could pinpoint exactly what words triggered the fight. Am I right?

Here are some other choices to think about:

If you are often hurt by people tearing down a creative idea or project, stop asking, "What do you think?" Instead, why not say, "I'm proud of this. I hope you are, too." Or, stop asking unsupportive people to support your creativity. Choose someone new to share with in addition to choosing new words!

If you are overwhelmed by too many commitments, stop saying "I have to. . ." Replace that sentence with "I GET to . . ." After that small switch, if you realize you don't like the places you GET to go, then take steps to stop going there!

If you feel like you are missing out on the little moments of life, stop saying, "I cannot wait . . . " and start saying, "I'm so EXCITED . . . ". Excitement allows you to fill that time fully participating in what is currently happening while waiting is passive and focuses all your attention on the thing you're GOING to do instead of the things you ARE doing.

When in a disagreement stop saying "You always . .  ." Because those words aren't (usually) true. Why not choose to point out the SPECIFIC behavior that is causing the grief? This one is tricky. Here's an example, "When you roll your eyes and say, 'brilliant' when I'm speaking in a meeting, it gives me the impression you feel like you are smarter than me and that gives me the impression you don't want to work on this team with me. Is that the impression you want to give? Is that true?"

What other words or phrases could you switch for more positive results?
What words or phrases have hurt you in the past?
What words or phrases have built you up in the past?