My Opinion Doesn't Matter

In this great big improv of life my opinion doesn't matter.

Neither does yours.

In fact, opinions can be used as a weapon when some folks are so adamant about their opinions that they try to present it as the truth.

When opinions masquerade as truth they become very dangerous.

Any time you turn on the television, log in to Facebook, or Twitter, or Instagram, or Snapchat or any other social media platform you are inundated with people spouting OPINIONS that they are trying to pass off as REALITY.

Because opinions are great "copy". Opinions are great click-bait. Opinions get all dolled up in a fancy font over a pretty picture and get paraded around as something worth believing in but are usually forgotten as soon as they're "shared".

Yet, when someone is so very determined with their opinion it can cause us to doubt ourselves! I know that in my own life, I've fallen for an opinion and only after some personal reflection, realized that the opinion was not true for me.

Before you start believing an outsider's opinion as truth, make certain that opinion IS honestly true for YOU.

Remember when your Aunt Martha kept urging you to try out for the football team, just because she was of the opinion you looked like a linebacker in high school? Do you also remember how you had absolutely NO interest whatsoever in playing football? You told her this, yet, she spent an entire family picnic telling everyone she saw that you SHOULD really play football. She'd grab your arm and haul you over to a relative and say, "Lookit him! He's a linebacker. He's a fool if he doesn't try out for football!" What if you'd believed her opinion and tried out for football and gotten on the team. At best, you'd have hated it.  Even worse, you could've gotten hurt by believing Aunt Martha's opinion!

Opinions often have these key words or phrases:

You (he/she/they) should do this . . .

If I were you, I'd . . .

Listen, people . . .

Listen, sheeple . . .

You're an idiot/a fool/making a mistake if you believe . . .

You're an idiot/a fool/making a mistake if you don't (fill in the blank with something that doesn't interest you at all) . . .

This is the truth, it's not your fault. ABC (or XYZ) is making your/our life/lives miserable . . .

An opinion is just that. An opinion. 

That's why MY opinion of you, or the world, or what someone else is doing shouldn't matter to anyone else.

All that matters is what is true for you!

Flip It, Flip It Good

What if today every time you thought you were right about something, you flipped it and took the opposite opinion or belief? What if today you flipped your need to be right and let everyone else be right?

Could you do it? I'm not sure I could! But, it would make for an interesting improvisational exercise, I think!

Albert Camus said, "The need to be right is the sign of a vulgar mind." 

But, I think it is a very real human emotion to want to BE right about everything in our lives. Maybe that is because, secretly we always feel the opposite. Or, maybe we need to feel right about everything because it keeps us in control of our lives.

What is being RIGHT all about anyway? Is it to have the BEST beliefs, ideas, judgments, opinions, way of doing something? Or is it deeper? 

Like anything else, I think the need to be right should be delivered in moderation, for if we are always right about everything then how do we learn?

We all have our habits and our opinions. When I look back in dismay over a disagreement I've had with someone else; if I can boil it down to my own personal need to be "right" in that moment, I typically wind up feeling ashamed. 

I watch with great interest when a friend will make a complaint or pronouncement of opinion on Facebook or Twitter. They will get lots of agreement (you're RIGHT) and then that one person will pop up with an opposing opinion. 

What? Suddenly the world doesn't agree? Interesting. Very interesting. 

My Mom always used to say, "If everyone in the world thought the same way, it'd be a boring place." I agree with that.

I started thinking more about this; I've had friends who participated in debate class who've been assigned to argue a point with which they do not agree. However, within the rules of debate, they are trying to win the debate so they dutifully argue their opposing opinion -they argue AGAINST their own "right".

I think it would be an interesting improvisation to share an opinion about something and then play a scene as if you believed the OPPOSITE. Just to shake it up. Just to look at the other side of the coin. Just to let go of a "right" for a minute or two.

What "right" could you let go of just for today to improve a relationship?

What "right" could you let go of just for today to look with fresh eyes at a situation?

Stuck in Neutral

Seth Godin has a brilliant blog post about the "Neutral Employee", click HERE to read it.

You know those neutral co-workers, right? In corp-speak: they're neither disengaged OR engaged. In real-speak: they just don't care.  While you're smiling and laughing and throwing around ideas like the leader you are; or while you've rolled up your sleeves to get some stuff DONE, they're doing the bare minimum. They're not whining, but they're just not helping or contributing or thinking ahead. In short, they're behaving like my tween-er daughter when I ask her to help me clean up the house . . .

I'm might get taken out for this, but I'm going to share a secret from the hallows of the Human Resources department: no one likes "neutral employees". No one. Bosses try to get rid of them in any way they can.

Below is a handy field-spotting guide for "neutral employees"

Physical characteristics may include any or all of the following:

• Slow walk;
• Dull eyes;
• Hunched shoulders;
• Lack of eye contact;
• Droning voice

Verbal characteristics may include any or all of the following:

• "I just want to do my job."
• "I don't have anything to add to that . . ."
• "I don't care . . ."
• "Why do we need goals?"

What's that you said? You're afraid you might be a neutral employee? Well, leaders, here's a short exercise:

• Make a list of all the ideas you've shared with your boss in the past month; or,
• Make a list of all the ideas you've implemented at your workplace in the past month; or,
• Make a list of  what you've learned to help you in your job in the last month; or, 
• Make a list of all the opinions you've shared with your boss in the last month; or,
• Make a list of your personal work goals for the past month; or,
• Describe the most engaging conversation you've had at work in the past month.

If you don't have anything for those lists, or if your most engaging conversation was about the latest episode of "Downton Abbey" then you are probably a neutral employee.

Never fear! It just means it is time to snap out of it and go back to being the leader you are! I guarantee your boss and co-workers will like you better if you do.

Any positive step you take will take you off the lay-off short list and move you in the right direction and the added benefit is that you'll probably find that work is more interesting and you feel more "engaged"!

• Express an opinion at work
• But don't overdo it! You might scare people off if you don't keep it respectful!
• Share ideas at work
• Right now it's a little bit of quantity - versus - quality. Don't throw out one idea and get all hung up that no one likes it. I'm going to get all Pollyanna here: ideas are limitless, like stars in the sky, and once you start generating them, they will come so frequently that eventually one will be a "keeper".
• Figure out a way to improve a frustrating work process -or reach out and help your boss or a co-worker.

Have you ever felt "neutral" at a job?  Did you get out of it? If so, how??