What We Don't Talk About

In the improv of life, the thing we don't talk about is this:

You can do everything right and sometimes people treat you badly.

I've seen leaders in business who by all accounts are constantly improving and growing; they are great listeners, give their employees praise and positive feedback and make sure they are getting paid fairly and given flexible scheduling and have many devoted employees and still end up with a bitter employee who quits because they believe they were treated badly!

I've seen excellent employees who are great at taking correction and making positive changes; who do their work at 120% and achieve all their goals -and then some. They take pride in their work and their peers, clients and other leaders in the company adore and depend on them -and still their boss hates them and fires them!

Guess what? It's not YOU, it's them. There are people who arrive in the improv of your life with a chip on their shoulder and no matter what you do, they are not pleased. No matter what the truth is, they will create their own story.

In these instance, all we can do is accept what has happened and move on as quickly and positively as possible. 

The sooner you can forgive and forget, the better off you'll be. 

Remember, forgiving does NOT mean hiring -or working for- that person ever again, it just means forgiving their behavior so you can move on with your own life in a positive way.

Flip It, Flip It Good

What if today every time you thought you were right about something, you flipped it and took the opposite opinion or belief? What if today you flipped your need to be right and let everyone else be right?

Could you do it? I'm not sure I could! But, it would make for an interesting improvisational exercise, I think!

Albert Camus said, "The need to be right is the sign of a vulgar mind." 

But, I think it is a very real human emotion to want to BE right about everything in our lives. Maybe that is because, secretly we always feel the opposite. Or, maybe we need to feel right about everything because it keeps us in control of our lives.

What is being RIGHT all about anyway? Is it to have the BEST beliefs, ideas, judgments, opinions, way of doing something? Or is it deeper? 

Like anything else, I think the need to be right should be delivered in moderation, for if we are always right about everything then how do we learn?

We all have our habits and our opinions. When I look back in dismay over a disagreement I've had with someone else; if I can boil it down to my own personal need to be "right" in that moment, I typically wind up feeling ashamed. 

I watch with great interest when a friend will make a complaint or pronouncement of opinion on Facebook or Twitter. They will get lots of agreement (you're RIGHT) and then that one person will pop up with an opposing opinion. 

What? Suddenly the world doesn't agree? Interesting. Very interesting. 

My Mom always used to say, "If everyone in the world thought the same way, it'd be a boring place." I agree with that.

I started thinking more about this; I've had friends who participated in debate class who've been assigned to argue a point with which they do not agree. However, within the rules of debate, they are trying to win the debate so they dutifully argue their opposing opinion -they argue AGAINST their own "right".

I think it would be an interesting improvisation to share an opinion about something and then play a scene as if you believed the OPPOSITE. Just to shake it up. Just to look at the other side of the coin. Just to let go of a "right" for a minute or two.

What "right" could you let go of just for today to improve a relationship?

What "right" could you let go of just for today to look with fresh eyes at a situation?