Managing Up

In the improv of life, sometimes a long-held belief or behavior needs to be shaken up so something completely different can occur.

How many times have you looked at a situation and thought, "How did we get HERE?"

While reading some really negative reviews of a company where I used to work -with most of the comments being focused on the leadership- I started thinking about business and work and how things get to the state where they are untenable.

Then, I had an epiphany.

MOST CORPORATE TRAINING PROGRAMS ARE BEING DELIVERED TO THE WRONG GROUP OF PEOPLE!

Thinking back on my corporate days. A lot of time and money is spent on training "leaders" and honestly, I've seen it make good leaders better but I've never seen it make any difference with leaders who behave badly.

The most extreme example I experienced was a situation where a C-level leader was under pressure to get his disjointed team some management training. So, he requested a very specific training for the team but insisted on meeting with the facilitator prior to the training so it could be "customized" for the group. This exec proceed to bully the facilitator and pick the training apart, until it suited him. The training then lost it's meaning and focus. Even worse, because this exec hadn't allowed the training to be delivered in the manner it is typically delivered, a lot got lost in translation. Instead of becoming a positive tool for change, it became a weapon -until it was dropped entirely because it was "ineffective".

I've seen lots of bad-behaving leaders go through expensive training with no demonstrable positive effects, and get promoted time after time but, I've never seen those bad-behaving leaders get better at leading others.

I even went with one such leader to a 3-day offsite training. This leader was belligerent in class, sometimes even snorting in derision at the facilitator, he skipped out on about 3 hours on the last afternoon and didn't change one behavior. Yet, he was promoted. Because he'd "made an effort" (to attend the class).

So, leaders like this learn very quickly that if they "endure" the training they can continue with their bad behavior and, in fact, will get rewarded for that behavior with more money, prestige and power.

So, what incentive is there to change?

WE NEED TO FLIP THAT SCENARIO.

Face it, most training that is delivered to the front-line employees is pretty much Code of Conduct and Preventing Harassment classes. That's about it.

But, in my experience, most code of conduct violations, sexual harassment, bullying, etc comes not from front-line employees, but from the people who supervise front-line employees.

I'll never forget facilitating a Preventing Harassment session; a new VP  grudgingly slumped into the mandatory class -late- and proceeded to make fun of the material. This VP then said something so absolutely offensive that I felt like I had to report it to my boss!

Guess what my boss did? Laughed, and said. "Oh, that's just the way he is. We can't say anything because the CEO loves him. You'll get used to him."

And that's a sadly common story of how a leader gets away with bad behavior.

THAT'S WHY I THINK IT'S TIME WE GET RID OF ALL THE MANAGEMENT TRAINING.

Good managers, good leaders are going to get better no matter what. They will read and learn and seek out what they need on their own. Bad leaders don't care, so why waste money trying to get them to care?

Instead let's spend the money on recruiting more ethical leaders. I think it's time to start creating an environment where it becomes uncomfortable to be a leader who uses bad behavior. I think it is time to focus all training dollars on front-line employees.

I think these employees need coaching and training that teaches them how to work ethically and gives them genuine skills (and corporate support) to navigate unethical leaders.

Imagine a nation of front-line employees who know how to effectively "manage up" and deflect and call out unethical behavior in a leader!

Imagine a nation of businesses (large and small) who support all employees by rewarding good employees (and good leaders) and by not accepting bad behavior from anyone!

Within a generation, we'd have amazing leaders!

What's the worst behavior you've experienced from a "leader"?

What's the best behavior you've seen in a leader?

The BEST

Today's thoughts . . .

Please, Stay Inside the Box

How many times have you witnessed a leader, hopped up on caffeine, standing in front of a room and exhorting everyone to, "think outside the box, people,"??

What does that mean, exactly? I think when a leader says "think-outisde-the-box" that, they don't really know what they want.

I think that those leaders sense that their endeavor needs to move in a new, fresh, different or exciting direction-but they don't know how to effectively guide people to that amazing place.

So, basically that leader is saying, "I've run out of ideas. Impress me."

Most people have enough anxiety about coming up with any ideas but, when forced to impress, they shut down completely.

In the end, the leader walks away, thinking he/she is surrounded by lazy-good-for-nothing-slackers except that one person. That one suck-up person who knows everyone, listens in on every conversation and isn't shy about sharing anyone and everyone's private ideas with the big cheese. The leader loves that person and can fall down the rabbit hole after that person - just because that person was confident and stupid enough to "think outside the box".

I think JCPenney is a great example of outside the box thinking that went awry. Their "box" was creating great sales that customers loved. They moved outside their box and decided to just price things as low as they could and end their sales. They tried to move into WalMart's "box" of low prices and it has failed miserably. Why didn't JCP just take their "box" and make it even more amazing for their customers? Bigger sales? Better sales? More creative sales??

People think that improv is a crazy, free-for-all, when really, there are specific rules and parameters. Those rules allow the improviser to know where the edges are and keep the entire scene from running off the rails. I think there's so much more focused power in being as creative as possible inside the box!

Here is a fabulous video to illustrate the power of staying INSIDE the box, using your limitations to inspire excellence:

Three Little Words

I am sorry.

Those are the 3 most powerful words in any relationship; especially if a leader says it.

WARNING: Those words should be said and left alone. If you add a "but" it negates the apology.

Examples:

I am sorry, but . . . you were doing it wrong so I had to step in and fix it.
I am sorry, but . . . you are too sensitive.
I am sorry, but . . . we're going to have to let you go.

See? The "but" is never good.

Here are other ways to say, "I am sorry":

I was wrong.
I was mistaken.
You are right.
I apologize.
Please forgive me.

Leaders, memorize those. They are important to have in your lexicon.

Ideas and Twinkies

I think people get in trouble in the workplace when they believe that there are a limited number of "good ideas". When someone thinks that way, they get into a hoarders mindset and behave just like the people who stockpiled Twinkies when Hostess went out of business! There are many reasons people do that:

• To re-sell their Twinkies at a higher rate. (Think of your co-workers who hoard their ideas and once they get bigwig approval they graciously "allow" you to help with all the nasty grunt work and when the job is completed they take all the credit for their fabulous idea.)
• To eat them all themselves. (Think of your co-workers who are anti-social and think they are the world's gift to your business. They don't want anyone nosing in on the fabulous idea they're implementing -and they're secretly scared that this is the last good one they'll have.)
• For nostalgia. (Think of co-workers who don't appreciate the way things "used" to be and their ideas are re-hashes of what has been done before and they don't need any of your crazy ideas, thankyouverymuch. They take a bite out of that Twinkie . . . um. . .  idea and then carefully wrap it up and go back to the same Twinkie until it is gone. Then they cry. Or panic. Or both.)

The best leaders realize that, unlike Hostess, ideas never go out of business and you can always get more. The greatest leaders create an environment where so many ideas are being generated amongst the entire group that no one can take all the credit.

How do people treat ideas at your workplace?

We Know When You're Lying

Professional actors learn to watch others and study the way words combine with behavior for different meanings. These performers consciously choose their behavior in a scene to combine with words for a desired effect. They understand that sometimes what a person is thinking might not match what they are doing. When aiming for a portrayal of honesty and truth, they are thinking honest thoughts, they are matching their words to their actions so their words support their behavior. These performers are also aware of the disconnect between thoughts, words and actions. When done effectively, dissonance between thoughts, words and actions makes good theatre and we can see the character lying, conniving or trying to deceive.

Think of your favorite movie, TV show or play,  consider those scenes where a character is saying one thing but thinking and doing another. Sometimes it is played for comic effect. Sometimes it heightens the drama or the mystery. As we watch those scenes it is obvious to us what is going on.

Great leaders understand that it is obvious in real life, too! People know when you're lying because they see that your words don't match your behavior. They come to the conclusion that you must be thinking something devious or untruthful if your words don't match your behavior!

Do you have co-workers who say one thing but do another? Do you trust them? Do you call them out or let it slide?