This is What a Dream Come True Looks Like

This marquee.

This represents a dream come true.

A dream come true that continues to come true.

In November of 2008, after only 5 rehearsals, my "Nephew" Aaron and I brought our show to the stage.

And we've been going strong ever since (and plan to keep going strong.) The show featured in this marquee was our 5th anniversary show and our 60th show together, too. I love it when things synch up like that.

Pastor Steven Furtick says, "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."

This marquee is our highlight reel. A few other pieces of our highlight reel include:

• Being chosen for King County 4Culture's Touring Arts Roster of juried acts
• Performing all over the Pacific NW and two trips to perform at Breakthrough Theatre of Winter Park, FL
• Newspaper articles written
• Magazine articles written
• Parade appearances
• Performing for hundreds of people at a time

What was behind-the-scenes was:

• Late nights spent writing jokes, poring over music, listening to music, choosing music, creating a website, Facebook presence, Twitter presence and Instagram presence
• Hours of rehearsal together and separately on all the pieces of the show
• Hours of rehearsing and performing PRIOR to joining forces and creating a show (We both, separately have OVER the amount of hours that according to Malcolm Gladwell would put us into the "outlier" category.)
• Emails to potential venues that were never answered
• Checks that bounced from venues where we performed
• Hours of texts and phone calls
• Hundreds of dollars spent on costumes, props, music, etc
• Shows where only 9 people showed up
• Sore feet, sore voices, sore backs

And it was ALL worth it. Your dream is worth it, too! Keep going friends, keep going!

Didn't Your Mama Teach You Better?

Do you say "thank you"? Do you express gratitude?

My Mama taught me to express thanks as soon as I could speak. If someone gave me something; did something nice for me, or paid me a compliment, I was supposed to say, "thank you." As I grew older, I saw that when I expressed thanks for small kindnesses I was rewarded with smiles, and more kindness. And, when

Thanking someone is simple manners. But you'd be surprised how many people don't use this courtesy. It isn't a small thing, either. Being able to thank others is the first step towards gratitude. The first step towards creating a world where you are hopeful for what may be and grateful for what you have.

When you express thanks to others, it builds up a savings account of goodwill. When you go beyond thanks and express genuine gratitude for another's contribution in your life you become a leader.

I've said it many times before, we create the world around us. Each interaction with another human being is a scene and it can go a zillion different ways. Some scenes are completely predictable.

There was a VP where I worked a few years ago who was notorious for not saying "thank you". So notorious, in fact, that some of us had to make a joke out of it. (It was one of those if-you-can't-laugh-you-might-punch-a-VP situations.) 

The communal doors in the office were clear glass, if one of us approached a door at the same time he did, even if our hands were full, he'd stop, and wait until the person on the other side of the door pulled out their badge, swiped it over the pad and opened the door. IF he spoke, he'd say something (he thought was) funny like, "About time," and then chuckle and pass through. Not a word of thanks.

One of my co-workers and I had a kind of shorthand. "Three," I'd say to my friend. That meant: 3 times today I held the door, or did something else, for that VP and three times he didn't say thank you. 

It was shocking, when, one day, this man actually said, "Thank you," when I held the door for him. He even looked a little surprised when he said it. 

Unfortunately, he never said it again. There was a glimmer of hope there. I saw, for a moment, what a kind, good man he could be. I wish he'd lived up to the promise.

There's a common improv game that I call "The Gift". In this game, all players stand in a circle and Player 1 hands Player 2 something, saying, "I got you ". Player 2 then expresses surprise and gratitude at such an amazing gift (no matter what it is) and tells what he/she will DO with this wonderful gift.

Imagine, if we did that in our own lives? Expressed thanks and gratitude for EVERYTHING we were given.

Yes, even the bad stuff. Even the weird stuff. Even the sad stuff.

Imagine the world YOU could create if you added even the tiniest bit of gratitude to your life, every day?

The Terror of the Blank Page

Blank page. Staring at me

For most of us, it's easier to start with ANYTHING rather than with a blank page.

We think we need at least something, even one little thing, to grab ahold of, like a life raft.

But, the thing is, while the blank page is in FRONT of me, there's inspiration all around me.

I see the sunlight slanting through the window. There are dust specks floating through the air and I think, for just a moment, that maybe I should vacuum instead of write.

I smell the clean scent of the scarf I'm wearing, I wound it around my neck, fresh from the dryer.

I hear the dogs chewing on their carrots, the older one patiently letting the puppy steal one from him.

I feel the soft leather cushion of the couch and think about all the things we've done on and around this couch; sleeping, watching movies, making forts, holding babies -the list is endless.

I taste the carrot that I've saved for myself, the dogs looking at me accusingly because I've dared take one of their treats.

Each of those things swirled around my consciousness as I typed my first words on a blank page.  Any of those things could be the start of a story, the start of an improv, the start of a blog post, the start of a painting, the start of a musical composition. The fact is, there is always something around us to inspire..

When I'm coaching, I will sometimes ask my students to start from an entirely blank place.

"Do a scene," I'll say. That's a blank page. Full of possibility. Where to go?

I see the relief in their eyes; feel the relief of tension in their bodies when I give my improv students a place to start from. They really don't need it, but, they THINK they do.

Just look around, there's SO much inspiration everywhere, even in the mundane.

Show me the MONEY

Does money have a place in creativity?

Do you need money to be creative?

Do you need money to START a creative venture?

Is there some creative venture you'd LOVE to plunge into BUT you need more money? I think you CAN do it. I just think it means being CREATIVE about getting to that place where you can earn your living doing something creative.

My husband owns his own business. He makes leather bags. He designs, patterns, and builds leather bags. He started his business -his creative business- without carrying ANY debt because he started it while he was working at another job.

His other job provided a good income, so, he purchased some leather and the basic equipment he'd need to start this business. Then, after work (and sometimes before) he started making bags and belts and wallets.

On his days off, he went out and sold his bags and belts and wallets. He got better and better at it. Any money he earned, he put BACK into the business. Upgrading his tools and equipment as he went along.

Yes, he gave up some things to see his creative enterprise take off. Fewer nights out with friends. Fewer dinners out. Late nights and long weekends spent working. But, it was all worth it.

Eventually, he began doing leather working full-time and THAT became his job. His only source of income. He's been running his own business since 1996. It grows every year.

I share this story because sometimes I think we creative types get decidedly UN-creative about earning money doing the creative things we love.

Yes, it takes hustle. It takes work. It ALSO takes CREATIVITY. You, my friends, have oodles of that. So, start getting creative what can you do NOW, today, to get your creative venture off the ground, without going into debt and then start earning you money?

Of COURSE You Can Quit

Some days, it might feel like you cannot change things where you are.

Sometimes, it takes getting creative.

Sometimes, you have to take your creative self somewhere ELSE! Sometimes it takes QUITTING to change the world.

Here's a little story.

I worked in an accounting office. Weird for me, because it was an uncreative JOB but, I really liked the company I worked for and my coworkers were great. It wasn't a bad way to make a living. But, the rigid 8am - 5pm with an enforced hour-for-lunch schedule was a killer.

I politely asked to adjust my schedule. Noting that it could be good for the company as we dealt with East Coast companies and by the time we started our day it was already 11 am there. If I could start earlier, we would have an earlier half hour in the office with the East Coast. My requests to shift my schedule by 1/2 hour were denied.

The personal reason I wanted to flex my schedule was that with the bus schedules I was spending up to 2 hours EACH day in traffic, waiting to clock in, or waiting for a bus. By just shifting to a 7:30-4:30 schedule not only would we have MORE coverage in the office to answer phones BUT, I'd personally get back time with my family each week.

I did my best to creatively fill -not kill- my time, I walked, I read, I listened to music -but what I really wanted was more TIME with my family.

So, after my requests were denied a couple of times, I gave up on THAT place and started looking for another job, closer to home; and I found it! The new job that was 20 - 30 minutes from my house (and paid better). In the time it usually took me to drive to the park and ride station, I was getting to work! It was unbelievable, I gained another 1 - 2 hours with my family EACH day! That was up to 10 hours each WEEK! 

My boss at the previous company offered me MORE money to stay. Again, I asked her if I could flex my schedule. She said, "no". So, I politely declined and went to work at the new place. Better pay. MUCH shorter commute. 

Guess what? After I left, one of the bigwigs at the company I'd left started asking around as to why I'd quit. When someone (honestly) told him it was because I wanted to flex my schedule by 1/2 hour each day, he started questioning people in my former office. Turns out, they ALL wanted to flex their schedules. Turns out the flex schedules meant there would be people covering the office MORE hours each day. My former boss was instructed to review each employee's schedule requests on a case-by-case basis and approve the requests that were reasonable. Turns out the people in the department were happier with their new schedules. Turns out morale went up and employee turnover went DOWN. 

Turns out I changed that small corner of the world, after all with my creative idea.

Just because people don't (initially) like your creative idea doesn't mean they are wrong. Or bad people. It doesn't even mean your idea is bad. It just might mean that your idea and the people you work with/for aren't ready for those creative ideas of yours!

It's okay to take your creative self and move on, look for a better fit for YOU.

Basic Conversation 101: Creepy versus Not Creepy

When I ask new students at my improv for non actors class what skills they want to take away, many of them say they just want to improve their conversational skills. And, guess what!? I have exercises for that.

In fact THIS past Wednesday night it came up. I didn't get THIS far into it, but, driving home, I thought about the creepy versus not creepy factor in conversations. So, since I didn't get a chance to share it with the class, I thought I'd share it with YOU, dear readers!

As I teach my improv students, "A scene is enhanced by specifics," so, I'll be specific.

Creepy covers all sorts of things but mostly they fall into these categories.

1.  REFERRING TO SOMEONE'S APPEARANCE OR PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES IF YOU'VE JUST MET THEM -OR BARELY KNOW THEM. 

You look sexy in that dress. Creepy.

What a great dress. Not creepy.

You look tired, too much going on at night? Wink. Nudge. Creepy.

How is your day going? Not creepy.

(Said to a pregnant woman) When is that baby gonna pop? Creepy
You seem happy. Not creepy.

I want to (fill in the blank)  John in accounting. Creepy.
I have a crush on John in accounting. Less creepy.
Silence. Not creepy.

Commenting on someone's physical appearance is dicey, even if you do know them. But, if you barely know them. Just drop that subject.

2. TOO MUCH PERSONAL INFORMATION TOO SOON -ESPECIALLY IF IT IS VIOLENT OR SEXUAL IN NATURE.

When I was a kid, I fantasized about killing my parents with a baseball bat while they slept. CREEPY.
I didn't have a great childhood. Not creepy. 

This is stuff you share MAYBE with a close confidant. Not a casual acquaintance.

3. INAPPROPRIATE OR UNEXPECTED EMOTION

Crying while discussing a pet that is alive and well just because you love that pet SOOOOO much. Creepy.
Calmly discussing a pet that is alive and well. Not creepy.

This is similar to too much information. Crying or laughing or other emotional outbursts that don't fit the topic will always have the effect of making your conversation partner uncomfortable.

4. COMMENTS THAT HAVE NO RELATION TO WHAT WAS JUST SAID.

You: Nice job with the Winston presentation!
CoWorker: I'm going to Spain next month. Creepy.

You: Nice job with the Winston presentation!
CoWorker: Thanks, that one was touch and go but I made it! Not Creepy.

This behavior makes people think you aren't listening! Our son used to just blurt out the word "pizza" when he was uncomfortable. It was darned frustrating to have a conversation with him when he did that, let me tell you. He's stopped that behavior (thank goodness) but some adults do similar in conversation and then wonder why they can't connect!

5. ASSUMING FAMILIARITY AND/OR "SELLING".

(Said within 5 minutes of meeting)
You and me should be best friends? You should come over and meet the wife and kids. When are you free? Tonight? Have you ever heard of Amway? I can tell you'd be JUST the type of gal who'd love it! Creepy.
It was great talking with you. Not creepy.

Even dropping the Amway sales pitch from the previous scenario, when you make quick assumptions or get too familiar with people they instantly activate their heat shields and step away.

6. PUNS OR WISECRACKS ON THE LITERAL MEANINGS OF A WORD SOMEONE SPEAKS-ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE IN ANY WAY SEXUAL IN NATURE

You, in reference to an event you plan to attend: I'll be coming
CoWorker: That's what she said. Creepy.

These types of "jokes" makes people think you aren't listening but, instead waiting for "cue" words to make your groaner joke.

7. ACTIVELY NOT LISTENING (Thanks to my friend, Alora, for this one!)

Let me stop you right there. Creepy.
Tell me more. Not creepy.

Unless you can -with 100% accuracy- read someone's mind, it is rude and disrespectful to ASSUME that you know what they are going to say.

This list is FAR from complete. Part of conversing is LISTENING and watching VISUAL cues from your conversation partner. If they look visibly uncomfortable, you might've just gone into "creepy" territory. Best bet then, is to say, "Oh, I think I may have put my foot into my mouth. I'm sorry."

Each conversation is a scene you are acting out with another person. Keep it light, keep it fun (without trying to "be funny") when you first meet someone and you'll have a greater chance at success.

 will continue this series! My next topic will HOW to start a conversation, when to KEEP up a conversation and gracefully EXITING a conversation!