If At First You Don't Succeed . . .

Confession time: I used to approach a lot of my life in the way I approached taking photos. At one time, there was a REASON for the way I photographed, when that reason disappeared I was still hanging on to my old ways.

But, when I started to improvise and really PLAY with my camera I realized that for me, taking photos is an analogy for dealing with LIFE.

When I was a kid, I loved taking photographs. Back in those good old days, film was expensive and it cost money to get it developed. So, I was fairly careful about my photos. Stingy, in fact. Each photo equated to money spent and I wanted to make sure I got my money's worth. When I got my prints back I'd hold on to all of them. Even the ones that didn't turn out so well. I ended up with bloated, overstuffed albums with a lot of junk photos in them.

Then, the era of digital cameras arrived! An amazing thing, a person could take as many photos as they wanted and just delete the ones that didn't turn out!

While I knew that intellectually, it didn't register emotionally and I was still stingy about taking my shots AND greedy about hanging on to every single one. For me, each photo had to be carefully planned out and only one or two snapped. It wasn't until I read a post on escapeadulthood.com  that challenged my thinking and got me on the path of taking (and dumping!) a LOT of photos.

The post described a challenge to just grab your camera, and start clicking the shutter WITHOUT looking through the viewfinder. Just taking the most random of snapshots, then keeping ONLY the ones that turned out well. This appealed to the improvisor in me. So, I brought my camera along when I went on a trip to Puget Sound. 3 lazy days by water's edge and I tried it. I snapped and snapped and snapped. Hundreds of photos. I crawled on the ground and snapped shots. I held the camera above my head and snapped shots. I held the camera over my shoulder and snapped shots. And, once in a while, I actually looked through the viewfinder and snapped shots.

When I got home I downloaded about 500 photos into my computer! I then deleted the ones that didn't appeal to me. I got a LOT of crappy photos -and I dumped them, free of guilt. I also ended up with a lot of wonderful, unexpected photos that I love. Ever since then, I take LOTS of snaps of the same thing and then delete and edit until I keep THE shot. The one I wanted in the first place.

For Christmas, I was gifted a lovely camera. Instead of my little, compact point and shoot, it is an Olympus with two different lenses. I've been taking it with me on my regular walks around the neighborhood. On Saturday, walking with my daughter, I saw the sun pouring through a gap in the trees. I stood there and took about 20 shots of the same thing.

When I got home, the picture you see on this page was THE one. The one I wanted. The light hit the lens just right and the explosion of purple light that resulted (and the bubbles of light) created an image as magical as the moment felt with the sun coming through the trees.

In fact, I'm learning that the more shots I take, the likelihood increases that I will get a magical shot. There is no rhyme or reason to it, either. Sometimes the first shot turns out to be the one that I like the most. Sometimes the last one, but, usually it is a shot somewhere in the middle. And, sometimes I find that NONE of the shots turned out the way I thought they would, so I dump the whole lot and move on. The next series of pictures will usually hold a gem. Nothing is precious or sacred it is merely an act of doing my best to get something wonderful and moving on if I don't capture it!

Just like life, isn't it!

Everybody's Talking

Because I have a 12-but-almost-13-year-old, I think about gossip. A lot. It starts in Jr. High and never stops, does it?

Gossip isn't even good in an improv scene. Want to know why? It's because the people in the scene aren't doing anything but  standing around and talking about someone who isn't there rather than DOING something.

Stop talking. Start doing. Then there isn't any time for gossip.

Seriously Sarcastic

Comedy is creative. Comedy is difficult to do well.

I don't think I've ever been to a comedy club because I am terrified. I am terrified that I'll be in the audience when one of THOSE comics is onstage.

I'm talking about the kind that use sarcasm and cutting remarks about OTHERS to make funny. It is SUCH an easy way to amuse. It is also a GREAT way to show how clever and smart you are.

Not my style. 

I think cutting remarks and sarcasm creates up a barrier between audience and performer.

I think it even puts up MORE of a barrier between co-workers, friends and loved ones.

If you are frustrated, and feeling like you cannot get close to people, it might be time to take a look at how you INTERACT with them. Are you hiding behind cutting remarks and sarcasm to show others how smart and witty you are?

Here's a great article on SARCASM and the forms it takes, none of them positive!

When you're "doing a scene" in life that doesn't go well at all, take a step back and replay the dialogue in your head. Were your remarks cutting or sarcastic?

Sometimes, in improv class, I ask participants to re-do a scene with the same OPENING line with a completely new response. It is a great way to show participants how improv scenes can go a zillion different ways.

Life scenes are exactly the same.

If you suspect that people are avoiding you, just like I avoid comedy clubs, because of the danger of cutting/sarcastic remarks, the best way to know for sure is to ask some people you know and trust.

If you want an example of sarcasm, Dr. Cox from the TV show, "Scrubs" is a good example. Would you want to work with this guy?

Uncensored

We all have uncensored thoughts. What we choose to do with those thoughts can make a huge difference in our lives.

EVEN when doing an improv scene those uncensored thoughts pop up.

When I worked doing comedy improv at Disney it was especially important to keep it family-friendly. Well, sometimes the first THOUGHT in your mind isn’t family-friendly, especially when doing comedy!

Sooooo, we rehearsed and practiced and that helped us keep the unclean comedy to ourselves!

In the improv of life, it’s different, those uncensored thoughts are often quick, EMOTIONAL gut reactions to something. But, you can STILL rehearse and practice to keep those uncensored thoughts to yourself! I don't know about you, but, when the emotion is negative and I blurt out the first thing on my mind, I typically regret it.

Sometimes, I see the little notice on LinkedIn "Say happy work anniversary" attached to someone's name.

Then, I think to myself, "Wow! You're still THERE? Man, your behavior was AWFUL 3 years ago, I wonder what it's like now."

(I get even WORSE thoughts if I see they've been promoted to a leadership position when my experience of their behavior would put them on the bottom of my should-manage-others list!)

I keep those thoughts to myself by taking my hands OFF of the keyboard and saying to my dogs EXACTLY what I’m thinking. I get it out of my system in an appropriate way! 

It takes thinking creatively and QUICKLY so the uncensored thought can be replaced with a BETTER thought before damaging or inappropriate WORDS come out of your mouth –or onto a computer screen!

Lately, though, it seems like more and more people just BLURT out –or type out- those uncensored thoughts.

I read once that the most successful people in this world are able to CONTAIN those uncensored thoughts and not just share the first thing that comes into their heads.

I agree with that.

I used to work with a man who would immediately say, “NO! That’s impossible!” whenever he was asked to do something last-minute for anyone. It was really destructive and he got a bad reputation and (between you and me) was nearly let go in a round of layoffs.

The funny thing was, he nearly ALWAYS delivered. He just couldn’t stop himself from appearing angry and saying “NO!” when he was frustrated with being asked to do something in a rush.

Get creative, what are your emotional triggers? What can you say or do before you blurt out something that you’ll regret?

In the case of “no-man” I asked him if he could replace “NO” with something else. We brainstormed for a few minutes, we came up with some positive options:

“Let me see what I can do.”

“Give me a minute to think about it.”

“I think that could work.”

He finally settled on “Can I have a minute to think it through?” Then, he’d take a breath and think about it before giving an answer.

Slowly but surely, people's attitude about "no-man" changed to the positive.

Writer Jon Acuff uses “You might be right” whenever someone gives him "feedback" that initially bothers him. I love that because you aren't agreeing with the feedback and you aren't disagreeing with the feedback.

Get creative! How can you stop your uncensored thoughts from damaging your life (and career)??

This is What a Dream Come True Looks Like

This marquee.

This represents a dream come true.

A dream come true that continues to come true.

In November of 2008, after only 5 rehearsals, my "Nephew" Aaron and I brought our show to the stage.

And we've been going strong ever since (and plan to keep going strong.) The show featured in this marquee was our 5th anniversary show and our 60th show together, too. I love it when things synch up like that.

Pastor Steven Furtick says, "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."

This marquee is our highlight reel. A few other pieces of our highlight reel include:

• Being chosen for King County 4Culture's Touring Arts Roster of juried acts
• Performing all over the Pacific NW and two trips to perform at Breakthrough Theatre of Winter Park, FL
• Newspaper articles written
• Magazine articles written
• Parade appearances
• Performing for hundreds of people at a time

What was behind-the-scenes was:

• Late nights spent writing jokes, poring over music, listening to music, choosing music, creating a website, Facebook presence, Twitter presence and Instagram presence
• Hours of rehearsal together and separately on all the pieces of the show
• Hours of rehearsing and performing PRIOR to joining forces and creating a show (We both, separately have OVER the amount of hours that according to Malcolm Gladwell would put us into the "outlier" category.)
• Emails to potential venues that were never answered
• Checks that bounced from venues where we performed
• Hours of texts and phone calls
• Hundreds of dollars spent on costumes, props, music, etc
• Shows where only 9 people showed up
• Sore feet, sore voices, sore backs

And it was ALL worth it. Your dream is worth it, too! Keep going friends, keep going!