The Dirty Little Secret No One Talks About at Work

One of the dirty little secrets about leaders in your organization is that some are deeply in debt.

"Keeping up with the Joneses" is an expensive business.

Outward trappings of wealth are not indicators of genuine wealth.

Debt causes fear.

If there seems to be NO reason why your leader isn't speaking up for what's right, that leader MIGHT be coming from a place of fear that they'll lose their job (and their 6-figure income) if they speak up.

So, what do YOU do if your VP who drives the BMW to work on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and drives the Mercedes on Tuesday and Thursday; lives in a mansion on the lake; and leaves the office each Friday to network with the Big Cheese is also allowing the Big Cheese - the CEO- to run amok and create chaos within your department?

Well, my friends, in the improv of life, there's only one thing to do.

 "Yes, and . . ."

"Yes, and . . ." means accepting what IS and adding to it with your reaction.

I'm sorry if that's not the answer you want but, you cannot change your leader. (Trust me on this, I've tried changing people and have learned it's like hitting my head repeatedly on a brick wall. It just leaves me battered and frustrated.)

You can only accept that there is SOMETHING that causes them fear, that is preventing them from standing up for their team. After you accept the "offer" in this particular improvisation, you have the power to ADD your own response.

Your own response is your super-power in the situation.

You might "Yes, and . . ."  by moving to another department -or another company.

You might "Yes, and . . ."  by squaring up your own finances so you don't act out of fear, too.

You might "Yes, and . . ." by doing your best work DESPITE your leader's human failings.

There are infinite "Yes, and . . ." responses.

I suggest choosing the one that gives you CONFIDENCE in overcoming/dealing with/changing your own personal situation.

I know that when I was in a situation where everyone seemed to be kowtowing to the CEO, I quietly chose to do the best I could in the situation and behind the scenes was working VERY hard to pay off our mortgage so I could leave the situation when the time was right for me.

So, if you suspect that your leader has a dirty little secret that is preventing them from being a truly great leader, how are you going to choose to "Yes, and . . ." today??

P.S. A great book to read on the subject of the APPEARANCE of wealth versus GENUINE wealth is "The Millionaire Next Door". 

Freedom

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” -Henry David Thoreau

Argh, I read those words and my creative, artistic little soul just aches 'cause I've been there. I felt trapped and uncreative and like I couldn't do anything I wanted to do. I had to sincerely turn my head around and focus!

Those living desperate lives aren't leaders (yet) and usually are deeply in debt and cling to a lousy job situation because they don't have the freedom to take a chance.

Free people are leaders. Leaders are creative, unafraid of change, unafraid of taking a chance, unafraid to speak up when something seems wrong. Less fear is a luxury of freedom; it is one of the signs of being a leader. Singing the song in you, is true freedom.  

I read a comment in a book once that went something like this: "Deprivation is living paycheck to paycheck, I'd rather go without little 'wants' than live like that."

Are you living paycheck to paycheck? I've been THERE. I was working part-time and funds were so low that I would charge things on a credit card then go back to the store and get cash for the returned item and use it to pay bills. (Something I do NOT suggest doing, it just dug me deeper in a hole, as you can imagine.)

If you ARE living paycheck to paycheck. I'm fairly certain it impacts your work deeply. I know it did that to me. If you feel like you hate your job -whether it's the work itself, your boss, your co-workers, or the company you work for-  you feel like you're stuck because of that blankety-blank paycheck, right?

Time to get your finances on track; time to get some savings in the bank, time to get OUT of debt and back on track. The first thing you've got to do is get your head in the game. If you've been eating lunch out or buying expensive coffee, stop it -for now.

That's the first step. Reduce your spending. Separate the "wants" from the "needs". You NEED to eat lunch but you DON'T need to eat out. Take a few extra minutes and make a lunch before work; or, instead of driving out to eat, drive to the nearest grocery store on your lunch hour and buy some lunch things. A loaf of bread and jar of peanut butter in the bottom drawer of your file cabinet will be lunch for a week. Boring, sure, but do you want to create some freedom in your job? Having more cash each week will.

(I can hear you over there, saying, "My job is so awful I NEED to go out to lunch to get away for a while." Let me be honest here: you'll never break free if you think like that. Find some other way to get away. I used to go eat my home-brought lunch in my car so I could get away. Saved me a ton of money and I could listen to music while I ate.)

Here are some books that helped me:

Your Money or Your Life - I classify this book in the harsh-but-healthy category. After reading it, you might realize that the 2 hour commute each way reduces your hourly pay significantly. Some people realize that getting a lower paying job, closer to home is actually MORE cost-effective after reading this book. Some people realize that they'd be better of if one parent stayed home with the kids rather than spending an entire salary on childcare.

The Wealthy Barber - This book reads like a novel and has some really practical, down-to-earth advice on saving and paying off debt. It is told in such an easy-to-read manner that the advice goes down smoothly.

The Millionaire Next Door - This book didn't give me tips as much as it gave me a new mindset. It really made me realize that the people who "look" rich might be in debt up to their eyeballs and that the folks who seem "poor" might just be millionaires in disguise. The message of this book was driven home when one of the top ten wage earners of a company I worked for expressed real longing and regret when I shared that my husband and I had paid of our mortgage and were entirely debt-free. 

The Tightwad Gazette - SUPER extreme savers. But, for awhile I did re-use plastic ziploc bags and shop exclusively at thrift stores and garage sales. I never went as far as drinking only evaporated milk and making my own Bisquick, but it gave me TONS of ideas on how to save, especially during the very expensive baby years of our children. It also taught me to stock up on great sales.

If you are debt-free, or are working on becoming debt-free, what books/websites/programs have helped you?