5 Ways to Take Control of Your One-on-Ones

All stage improvisers love the magic that happens when there's great give and take in a scene. They also love the applause of the audience because it lets them know they're on the right track. The audience provides regular feedback on the performance.

Things are just the same in the improv of life.

Taking control of your one-on-one with your boss can lead to fabulous give and take; and if you're doing a good job you might even get some regular "applause" as well as consistent feedback on how you're doing!

Every good improviser understands the rules of the particular game they are playing when they step onstage. So, it just makes sense that in the improv of life you understand these basic rules to getting the most out of your one-on-ones.

Here are the three common reasons I've heard for people who avoid one-on-ones with their boss:

1. I work right next to my boss, we talk all day -there's nothing we need to discuss;
2. I have a great relationship with my boss, we're good friends, if there was anything wrong my boss would tell me;
3. I hate my boss, I don't want to spend any time alone with a person I hate.

To all three, I say this: 

You don't know what you don't know, it is highly unlikely that you will have the same boss forever and if you don't know how to sit down and manage a successful one-on-one now, then how will you do it later? Also, someday YOU might be the boss and you need to know what it takes to hold a successful one-on-one so why not get the practice NOW?? Besides, no one likes to find out at the end of the year that their "great boss" has had a complaint about their work for an entire year but saved it until the annual performance review to share -with a resultant "bad" rating!

1. SCHEDULE THE MEETING YOURSELF IF YOU HAVE TO

If your boss doesn't have a recurring one-on-one scheduled every week -or every other week- then take responsibility for the situation and schedule the time.

If you don't have a great relationship with your boss, or you don't get much "face time" this is a great way to build the relationship and get some uninterrupted time.

If you do have a great relationship with your boss, this is a way to build an even BETTER one.

THESE MEETINGS SHOULD BE 30 MINS AT THE MOST AND SHOULD BE SCHEDULED IN A PRIVATE LOCATION SO YOU CAN BOTH SPEAK FREELY.

2. DON'T BE A "TIME THIEF", SAVE IT FOR THE MEETING

You're busy. Your boss is busy. If you save non-crucial things for your one-on-one I can guarantee it'll make your boss happier.  Think about it, there's nothing worse than a co-worker "popping in" all the time either in person or via IM with non-crucial stuff when you're trying to get something done.

You're a time-stealer if you keep popping in on your boss with those non-crucial items.

IF YOU SAVE IT FOR THE MEETING YOU SHOW YOUR BOSS THAT YOU VALUE THEIR TIME.

3. HAVE A PLAN AND WORK THE PLAN

Some bosses are great and have a regular structure to their one-on-ones. If that isn't the case for your boss, then come in with a plan. Even if it is a boss that you're good friends with, you need to get some concrete things discussed in the meeting. This person might not always be your boss and if you're in the habit of just chit-chatting in your one-on-ones you'll be woefully out of practice with a new boss.

Here are some sample topics to discuss in your one-on-ones:

• a) Ask if there are any new projects that are coming up that you could help with;
• b) Quickly share the status on your goals/projects;
• b) Ask any questions -or ask for help (if you need it);
• c) Ask these three questions:
• What am I currently doing that I should continue doing?
• What am I currently doing that I should stop doing?
• What am I not doing that I should start doing?

If your boss is vague or unclear, it is absolutely okay to say, "What does a successful outcome on this project look like?" Or say, "I want to be prepared for my annual review. If you have nothing I should stop/start/continue then I'm going to assume that I'm working at the top of my game and can expect highest rating at the end of the year."

If they still have nothing to say and you've been documenting all your meetings, you'll have plenty to fall back on during the dreaded annual review time (if your company still does performance reviews).

I once had an employee I coached who was completely confused about one of her annual goals. I suggested she go back to her next meeting and ask, "If I were to receive the highest rating possible on this goal, what would it look like? What exactly would I have done?"

When the boss couldn't answer that question, he removed it from her annual goals! In this way, she drilled down on all the vague goals he'd assigned her for the year until they were specific and had actionable steps that she could complete and then report in her one-on-ones. She was thrilled that year when, for the first time ever, she received the highest possible rating on all her goals.

IF YOU COME IN WITH A PLAN IT WILL NEVER BE A WASTE OF TIME.

4. FOLLOW UP AND DOCUMENT

• a) BRING A NOTEBOOK AND PEN AND TAKE NOTES DURING THE MEETING;
• b) If your boss had questions you couldn't answer, respond back within the next 12-24 hours;
• c) If your boss is the "forgetful" type, then a BRIEF email outlining what you discussed, what you promised to deliver, etc . . . is the best type of follow up;
• d) If your boss regularly cancels (without rescheduling) your one-one-ones, then attempt to reschedule it yourself;
• e) If your boss won't accept the reschedule, document that, too. Depending upon your situation, you can even respond with a BRIEF, respectful email outlining what you wanted to report/discuss in the meeting that was cancelled.

IF YOU DOCUMENT YOU CAN EASILY SHOW YOUR BOSSES' BOSS OR A NEW BOSS WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING. -OR- IN A WORST CASE SCENARIO SHOW HR THAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING WHAT YOU'VE BEEN ASKED TO DO BY YOUR BOSS.

5. STICK TO IT

If you aren't regularly sitting down to one-on-ones with your boss it might seem awkward at first but stick to it, it gives you more control over your workplace and situation, no matter what it is. 

Some co-workers and bosses don't see the value in regular one-on-ones and see them as time-killers. And, guess what, they ARE time-killers if you aren't covering anything important -so make sure YOU are adding value to your one-on-ones.

Do you have any one-on-one success stories to share?

Do you have any one-on-one horror stories to share?

I always welcome comments that might help others!!