I'm talking about the kid who always says "no".
This is the kid who blocks everything.
I love that kid.
That kid keeps me on my toes.
That kid forces me to improvise even MORE creatively!
But, most importantly, THAT kid reminds me to
STOP ASKING QUESTIONS THAT ONLY HAVE ONE ANSWER!
(Just a note: I'm not talking about those teacher/student questions like: "On what day was FDR born?" I'm talking about those CONVERSATIONAL questions for which you expect a very specific response!)
When I ask something inane such as, "Who wants to try that again?" I expect a chorus of eager faces yelling an excited, "Yes!"
What I get is everyone in the class saying "Yes" except THAT kid, who's saying, "No."
Blocking.
Even worse, it's my own darned fault. I asked a question when I should've made a statement!
I always teach my improv students to make statements instead of asking questions but, sometimes I'm my own forgetful student!
So, I say a silent thank-you to THAT kid for blocking and then I turn it into a statement and say what I should've said in the FIRST place, "We are going to try that again."
Not a question. Simply a statement. And the kids try it again. Even THAT kid!
When I'm teaching improv, the reason I ask the class to refrain from asking questions is because it muddies up the communication.
In improv, when you turn a statement into a question, you give your POWER away. You've removed YOUR decision, YOUR choice and thrown it back to your scene partner.
I think most of us have had that wishy-washy boss who has created an art form out of turning statements-into-questions. That boss that leads you to believe that you have a choice and then you feel like a jerk when you give the "wrong" answer.
This leader asks,"Do you have time to work on that budget report today?" and you respond with a "I can't, actually. I'm finishing the Steven's proposal today. It's due at the end of the week."
Um. Yeah.
Then the leader backtracks and admits that it WASN'T REALLY A QUESTION.
What the leader really meant to say was, "I know we're slammed right now and that the Steven's proposal has been your main focus this week, however, I need the budget report completed today."
Okay. That's VERY clear. I'm going to get that budget report done.
I think that some of us ask questions all the time because it seems "nicer". It seems less demanding. It seems less bossy. But, sometimes we ARE the "boss" of a situation and we need to make the non-negotiables as clear as possible.
I know that some of you are afraid that if you only make statements you'll look like a demanding, bossy control freak.
I'm here to tell you that, in an improv scene it will create a great and very clear scene but, in the improv of life your fears are very real; you WILL look like a bossy control freak if you ONLY make statements!
You've got to throw in those questions, too! That's just the give-and-take of real relationships.
The key, my friends, is knowing WHEN to make a statement and when to ask a question.
The only way you'll know when to make a statement and when to ask a question is after you've decided what IS and what ISN'T non-negotiable in the current situation.
So today, practice making statements on your non-negotables and do your best to only ask questions when you will genuinely act on any answer!
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